


Stupid Wife

by BoyfriendLapis



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Baby Falco, F/F, Hot Yelena (Shingeki no Kyojin), Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Memory Loss, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:41:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 41,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29845800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoyfriendLapis/pseuds/BoyfriendLapis
Summary: Have you ever imagined yourself married to someone you could never stand in life?Pieck had never imagined it too, quite the opposite. It was supposed to be just a normal morning, Pieck would wake up, have coffee with his family, and go to school and gain a new reason to hate Yelena Stein. Unfortunately for her... It didn't happen. It didn't happen. What was her surprise to wake up in the morning completely naked, with none other than Yelena Stein clinging to her naked body as well? And worse... Pieck ended up discovering something that couldn't possibly be real.Can you imagine waking up next to the person you hate most on earth and finding out you've married her?
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Annie Leonhart, Pieck Finger/Yelena, Sasha Blouse/Niccolo
Comments: 13
Kudos: 56





	1. Chapter 1

February 23, 2001

Pieck POV

I hate Yelena Stein, I hate her!

That whole creature irritates me, her arrogant way of being, the way she walks around like she owns the world and especially the fact that she always finds a way to disrupt my life. Wherever I went, she was there. Sometimes it felt like she was chasing me.

Seriously... Does she have nothing else to do but torment my life?

-Pieck, stop squeezing the poor taco, he's not to blame for you being stressed.

I heard someone say, at first I couldn't tell who it was, but soon discovered it was Annie. I turned my attention away from the "popular" table, where that stupid girl was sitting and looked at my sister, she looked at my hands and looked at my face again, only then I realized that I had squeezed the meat taco and now everything was stained with sauce. Yuck!

-Strangling the food again, Pieck?

Sasha asked laughing as she joined me and Annie at the table where we were. I just rolled my eyes and grimaced in disgust at the feel of my sticky fingers. great! On top of running out of lunch now I have dirty hands and whose fault is that? Stupid Yelena.

-Stein locked her in the theater again.

Annie told, or rather, gossiped to Sasha, who laughed outrageously when she found out, being accompanied by my sister. You should defend me idiot! Who needs enemies having Sasha as a best friend and that traitor as a sister?

-How many times did she do it this week? - I heard the two of them mocking me as I tried to wipe my hands. Good, now I'll be smelling like food for the rest of the day - Was it seven?

-Actually eight.

And they both burst out laughing, I snorted and grabbed another napkin to wipe my hands. The two idiots were teasing me until the basketball team came into the cafeteria, they quickly changed the focus of the conversation and started talking about the players. No need to hear "which was the toughest ass" from these troglodyte idiots.

-Oh, Niccolo ... He seems to get better every day.

And there she was, Sasha idiot with a crush on Niccolo Stein since sixth grade. Yes, he's the older brother of that idiot Stein, the vulgar jerk Yelena. But unlike her, he's a nice guy, very kind and loves to help others. Not to mention he's super smart. It was hard to believe that the pair were siblings. But it was enough to look at the two of them together to see that they were the same face, as they usually say. Especially the hair, as golden as gold and intense.

Anyway, back to Sasha's crush. She's had a crush on Niccolo since 6th grade, he keeps looking at her and smiling at her, which almost killed my best friend's heart. I wonder why the hell she will never talk to him. The stupidity of suffering for unrequited love.

Annie is different, my older sister is the girlfriend of the team scorer, Armin Arlert. She says he is the love of her life, the two of them are sweet when they are together. When she goes home I feel like dying of sweetness. Especially when they're cuddled up on the couch. It's so embarrassing.

-Oh my God! Oh my God! Niccolo's coming over here.

Sasha started to freak out, I looked at her and noticed her face was completely red. Is she having some kind of heart attack?

I wondered as I watched her agonize like that. Why do people often act like idiots when they like someone?

I rolled my eyes and let Annie calm Sasha down, only she had the patience for that. I rested my elbows on the table and rested my chin on my hands. Not only Niccolo was coming to our table, Armin was too. What a delight! I love being the candle.

I was about to get up when an arm stopped me, I turned around to see that attempt at a ghost next to me smiling. Not now!

-Hey baby? I came to keep you company, you know, so you wouldn't go away," she showed a huge smile, I would find it beautiful, if she wasn't the stupid Yelena Stein, "Feel privileged, thousands of girls would like to be in your place.

And there was the huge ego of that idiot. It was just because of things like that that I couldn't stand her. Does she think we'll all fall at her feet every time she breathes?

-First of all, get your filthy paws off me! - She shook her head and snorted. Childish. -I'm not kidding, you idiot. -I was stronger this time and she gave up, but she didn't move away, she just let go of my shoulder. Thank goodness. - Secondly, I didn't call you, no one actually spoke to you, you can go. Oh and third and not least, you are not my type.

I finished and crossed my arms, looking straight ahead. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Niccolo talking to Sasha, who by God's work was already calmer, and Armin and Annie kissing. ew!

-Pieckie, I'm everybody's guy. -Yelena put her nasty arm back up. Don't fucking touch me! Is she retarded or what? -Especially from girls... even the ones with a big ass like yours.

My eyes widened and I felt my cheeks heat up. Yelena giggled and jumped on the seat to touch my ass. Son of a... Did you really touch my ass? Really?!?

-Didn't you hear right? Don't you ever touch me with your dirty hands!

I shouted, not caring about the scene I was making. Completely irritated I stood up and got up from that table, I wasn't hungry anymore and I couldn't stand to be near her for long.

I hate Yelena Stein, with all my heart!

*

I had been standing for 20 minutes or so waiting for Sasha. Annie had gone home with Armin and I told her I'd wait for Sasha, because I'm a great best friend. But she just disappeared. Where did she go?

-Look what we have here... -Oh, no!... Is this a joke, life? Because it's not funny - It's dangerous to stay here alone in front of the school at this hour, kitten.

I bite my lower lip hard, but what I really wanted was to turn around and punch the bitch in the nose to see if she'll learn to be human. I put a wry smile on my lips and turned to her, who was sitting gloriously on her bike. Idiot and noisy motorcycle, like the owner herself.

-It's more dangerous to be near you for more than three seconds.

-Well," she laughed, not giving my comment any importance. Don't be stupid, answer that, come on! -Get in - he said taking another helmet, I opened my eyes -What happened? I'll take you home, I can't leave a lady alone on the street.

-No way I'm getting on that monster.

I tapped my foot on the ground and crossed my arms, Yelena snorted and closed her eyes for a few seconds. She seemed to be looking for patience. Don't look for patience, you idiot, argue with me!

-Don't talk about Kai like that. - She pretended to be offended and stroked the bike's tank. I rolled my eyes. Who gives a motorcycle a name? - Come on, Piku. It's just a ride, I promise to go slow. By the way, Sasha already left.

I can't believe that damn... Wait...

-Why should I believe you?

Yelena rolled her eyes and moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue.

-My brother took her home. - She shrugged as if it wasn't important. My mouth dropped open, Sasha must be having a good time. And I want to kill her. - So shall we go? Your house is too far for you to walk home alone at this hour.

I didn't want to accept, but I knew that if I didn't accept, I would have to find the courage to walk home because Annie is probably at Armin's, Sasha wouldn't come for me even if I paid him and my parents are still working. Great, fate Thank you!

-What? -I don't have a choice. - Yelena's winning smile almost made me give up. Almost. - But if you do any funny business, I'll cut off your fingers, got it?

She made an innocent expression and kissed her crossed fingers as an oath that she would behave. I just hope she behaves herself!

//

I... will... never... again... go... to... walk... in... that... again... in... life.

I was trembling when Yelena parked in front of my house, my arms around her waist gripping tightly, while I was still trying to believe she was alive. That bitch tricked me, first I was going slow and suddenly the street became a blur before my eyes.

-What, Piku? A little adrenaline is good.

I slowly came back to reality, let go of her waist and struggled with my legs so they wouldn't shake when I got off the bike. The idiot was laughing at me, stupid!

-Fuck off, asshole! - I shouted at her, but she didn't calm down, she was still laughing, I huffed impatiently and turned around to leave. - I hope you fall down when you go home.

-Didn't your mother teach you not to wish evil on others? - I held up a hand and showed her my finger. My house looks farther away than usual. - Pieck! Psst!

She was yelling at me, I had no choice but to look at her to get her to stop yelling. She sounds crazy.

-What, stupid crazy?

-My helmet, kitten. I need it.

I pointed to my head and blushed for the moment. Can I dig a hole to hide my shame? 

-Do you want it? - I smiled devilishly as I took off my helmet. Yelena smiled and held out a hand. -Then take it.

I threw it on the grass in my garden and laughed at Yelena's expression of disbelief.

-Damn it, Pieck. That shit is expensive, you know that? If it cracks I'll make you pay for it.

I folded my arms, shaking my head as I watched her get off the bike and go to her helmet on the ground. Take that, stupid.

-Poor you.

Yelena took the helmet and began to analyze it.

-I nodded frantically, Yelena snorted, "You're going to have to pay for it, kitten.

-Obligame me.

Dare I? Of course I am. Yelena's eyes darken, turning shadowy, I'd even be afraid of her expression, but Yelena doesn't scare me. She's just an idiot who thinks she can do anything.

-I know how you're going to repay me," she said and started walking towards me, I stepped back and looked at her blankly, "I accept a kiss.

-A kiss?

I asked her just to confirm that I was not hearing things. Yelena nodded smiling with that shameless gesture of hers. I narrowed my eyes, I would never kiss her, never. Not even if they paid me!

-A tongue kiss, delicious.

She stopped in front of me, I kept my expression indifferent while she smiled expectantly. Very good, Stein. Two can play this game.

-Do you want a kiss? - Yelena nodded and pointed to her mouth, smacking her lower lip twice. I flashed a huge, fake smile. -Then fine, close your eyes.

Yelena looked surprised, but then closed her eyes. I had to stop myself from laughing. Idiot.

Slowly I started to take steps backwards, waited until I was far enough away from her and started to laugh. Yelena opened her eyes, but it was too late, I was already at the door of my house.

-You cheated!

She exclaimed indignantly, crossed her arms under her breasts and I laughed disdainfully with a shrug.

-The world is smart, stupid. Do you really think I want to kiss you? No.

I shouted again for her to hear, Yelena shook her head a couple of times and smiled.

-You're going to beg for my kisses, Pieck.

-Never!

-Never say never, kitten.- She blew a kiss in the air for me and turned away with that "I'm the whore mistress" air, more looked at me and added: -We'll get married, Pieck, keep that in your memory.

She didn't give me a chance to counter, put the other helmet on the back of the bike and got on it. All I could hear was the deafening noise of the motorcycle. I went into the house spitting game, I hate to lose to her, who has the last word is me!

I went upstairs to take a shower and put on anything, I would take a nap and call Sasha. After all I wanted to know if she and Niccolo had a thing.

"We'll get married, Pieck..." Yelena's voice echoed in my mind, I let out a nasal laugh. I threw myself on the bed and grabbed Colossal, my big teddy bear.

-I will never kiss you, Stein, let alone marry you.

I said to myself before closing my eyes and waiting for sleep to come.

I'd rather die single than marry Yelena Stein.

***

November 5, 2014 (current day)

I groaned before I opened my eyes, my back was burning and my head felt like it weighed a ton.By Zeus, what nap was that? It looked like I'd been drinking all night and had a fucking hangover today. I tried to stretch, but froze when I felt an arm firmly holding my waist. I opened my eyes and looked down, seeing a milk-white arm.

Oh my God, someone broke into my house and abused me during my nap!

I thought in panic and jumped out of bed. I almost fell when I tripped over a slipper that was on the floor, I looked at the bed and then I could see who the pedophile thief was, but it was actually a woman. A woman!

-Mom! Dad! Help!

I started screaming and running around the room, I couldn't find the door. Where is the damn door to my room?

I was looking all around and I froze. I didn't recognize shit from there. oh my god! She kidnapped me, she's going to make me her sex slave! I have to call the police, shit, shit, shit, shit!

-Hmmmpf love? - My heart was pounding violently. Shit woke up.-Why are you screaming like crazy? I'm dying of headache and my back hurts.-I refused to look back, but I knew the woman was looking at me. A cold wind hit my body and only then did I realize.... La. Whore. That. Me. Gave birth to me. Baby, go back to bed, come. You finished me off last night, but I want more.

She laughed half asleep. My stomach turned at that moment. Baby? Did I end up with her the night before? This bitch drugged me and took advantage of me.

I turned around with my eyes full of fury, I was about to scream at that crazy woman and demand that she take me home to my family, after all, I was very young and had a lot to see. But my whole pose fell when I saw no one less than:

-Yelena!!!?

I don't believe it! The stupid after all is a psychopath who kidnaps innocent and defenseless girls. I knew I shouldn't have accepted that ride.

It could be some kind of a joke. What does this idiot think she's doing?

-Pieck! Why are you screaming your head off? And stop spinning around like a top, I'm getting dizzy.

I stopped in my place, my hands balled into fists. I'm looking for an explanation as to why that stupid woman did this and I'm crazy for yelling? She kidnapped me!

I turned to her rather angrily, I could be fuming out of my head. Yelena was looking at me, Her blonde hair was now shorter letting me see her bare breasts. I took a deep breath, at 16 she could already be a prisoner in this country.

-Is this some kind of stupid joke? You find it legal to drug me, abuse me and bring me to this house that I have no idea where it is - With every word I said or rather, spat, the confusion on Yelena's face increased - What the hell is your problem, girl!!!?

Yelena's eyes widened after my scream, she seemed surprised by my outburst. I'm about to tear my hair out and hers too.My God! My parents must be going crazy looking for me Why did this girl have to do this stupid thing right to me? I always knew she was half retarded, but not to this extent.

I was so focused on freaking out and plotting murder plans, that I only came back to reality when Yelena stopped in front of me and grabbed my shoulders. Since when is she so tall and her hair is shorter?

-I think you drank too much last night, I told you not to drink so much," she laughed humorlessly, "What's so funny, stupid? Nobody's laughing here. Did you have a dream last night? Why would I drug you?

She stroked my face with her thumbs and looked at me questioningly.

-Get your filthy hands off me, now! - I said between my teeth. Yelena let go of me and looked at me with pain? -I want to leave, my parents must be looking for me.

I was on the verge of collapse again, the moron kept looking at me with those sinister black eyes. Is she going to kill me?

-Have you called your parents? I don't think so, Pieck. Go where? This is your house.

  
She's crazy, I need to get out of here before I'm a prisoner.

-No! -This isn't my fucking house and you know it!

-Why are you crying and saying these things to me? I thought everything was fine between us. It was just a stupid fight, love. You told me we were fine last night, we were making love for hours and now you wake up wanting to leave? - She was talking incessantly, gesturing frantically. She's hallucinating, maybe she's on drugs? - Love, you can't say those things to me. You know I couldn't do without you, Piku. Yesterday you told me everything was fine, what's changed?

-Are you retarded, girl? I didn't see you yesterday after that walk, you stupid girl. Drugs cause people to be retarded. - I knew I shouldn't have taken that damn ride, look where I got myself into now.

I have to get out of here, now!

-Love? -Sure you're okay?

Love! This girl is really sick. Why the hell does the crazy woman insist on calling me love? Idiot!

-Love? -Are you going crazy, Yelena? Don't even answer. Get me out of here, I want my house, I want my parents. And I want... - I slapped my forehead. What time is it? My math test, fucking hell! - Imbecile, stupid! I missed my math test because of you.

Yelena drew her eyebrows together and walked back to me. Why does her skin look less youthful? Could it be that all that perfection was makeup? I always knew it. I felt my back hit the wall and I swallowed dryly, I was prey. Yelena rested the back of her hand on my forehead and then placed it on my neck, taking my temperature. What's your problem, creature?

-Are you feeling all right? What math test? You're talking like you're still in high school.

She burst out laughing in that way I hate so much. Wretch! Now she's trying to make me look like a crazy person! Who does she think she is?

-But I'm still in high school, psychotic.

Yelena stopped laughing as soon as I yelled, she looked at me like I had at least 4 heads.

-Are you still in high school? Pieck, you finished high school almost twelve years ago, love.

My eyes widened. My God, she's crazier than I thought. Now in addition to kidnapping me, abusing me and drugging me, she also acts and talks like we've traveled back in time. I have to get out of here fast!

-You are completely crazy!

I screamed and pushed her back, I didn't even care about my nakedness, I just wanted to get away as fast as possible. I found the damn door! I ran towards it and gave thanks for not being locked in, my heart leapt in my chest, adrenaline was all over everything. I heard Yelena calling me, but I just ignored her, I was almost taking a step on the step when a small voice caught my attention.

-Mommy?

I looked to my left and found a little boy. He scratched his eye with his little hand, his blond hair a little messy, on the other side was a stuffed bird crawling on the floor, the red pacifier with the Marley crest almost falling out of his mouth. Who was this cute thing? He stopped scratching his eye and looked at me, yawning a little.

My God, whose house is this, did Yelena bring me to a place she invaded? Because from what I can remember she has no other brother but Niccolo .

-Pieck? -Pieck?!? - Oh no! In a matter of seconds, a nervous Yelena came up behind the boy. She was going to say something, but seeing the little boy there she stopped. Now he was looking at her, smiling. - Hello, my little one Already awake at this hour? It's a miracle.

She bent down to pick up the little boy in her lap, let out a cute laugh to hear. The sound of the laugh reminded me of Yelena, but it wasn't a mocking laugh. It must be related to him. I confess that the scene of him clutching her neck as she showered him with kisses was extremely sweet.

-Your nephew?

I asked her curious, all right that she wanted to run away But does it hurt to ask? I am curious. It's a flaw.

-What? -Nephew? Piku, you're not well.

-Mommy needs hot chocolate!

The little boy exclaimed and Yelena smiled at him, they both tapped there with their fingers and then turned to look at me. Mom? Who's his mom?

-Who is it, Yelena? Who is this child?

I asked already nervous, it only remained that she had kidnapped the child and now pretended to be a happy family with me. She is really crazy.

-What do you mean, who is he, Pieck Finger? He is our son, he was born from you.

She spoke as if it was obvious, her eyes showed concern, just as much as the little boy's did. After hearing that, everything started to spin. I had to hold on to the stair railing to keep from falling, I tried to come back to consciousness, but it was getting dark. I heard in the distance some thin desperate cries and Yelena's screams, a mixture of "Love? What's going on?" with "Mommy!"

My legs buckled and my eyes rolled back, I felt strong arms and just... everything shut down.

####

I want to clarify that Falco will be the son of Pieck and Yelena.

Falco chiquito.


	2. What?

Pieck POV

My head was pounding. My body felt heavy, aching like a truck had driven over me.

What the fuck kind of dream did I have the night before?

I opened my eyes and regretted it, the harsh light bothered my eyes. I closed it again mentally cursing Annie, surely she must have been the one who came in here and left the light on. I want to know when she's going to stop with this stupid mania. I got out of bed with my eyes half closed, went to the bathroom and ripped off my clothes, what time is it?

The hot water crashed against my body, I groaned with satisfaction. That was all I needed. I opened my left eye and reached for the soap. Since when is this shit blue? Yesterday it was orange. Annie! It must surely stop invading my space. I rubbed the soap into my lathering hands, put the soap back in the soap dish and ran my lathered hands over my body, first on my hips, stomach and went down to..... Wait! I opened my eyes and looked down.

-My God, I have breasts! I have breasts. - I couldn't believe it, since when did I have breasts so big and soft? - Shit! What is this shit? Am I still dreaming? 

I was scared and fascinated at the same time. If this is a dream I don't want to wake up now, it's great to have breasts so nice to touch. I was massaging them with my hands. Man, that's good. I squeezed my nipples between my thumb and forefinger and squeezed, Gosh! That's so good. I was about to moan when I heard the door open, my eyes widened and I let go of my imaginary, not so imaginary breasts now. I saw myself in the reflection, but soon regretted it.

-What are you doing here? - Yelena opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, her gaze didn't leave my naked body and only then I realized my nakedness. My burning cheeks and I tried to cover myself as best as I could - Yelena! Get out of here, stupid!

I wanted to yell at her and tell her off, but I was too embarrassed to do so. Could it be that she saw me massaging my breasts? Oh my God, I'll never be able to look her in the face again. It's not all bad, though.

I-I-I... It's okay.

Defeated and shouldered she turned and walked out of the bathroom with her head down, but returned only to put clothes in the top of the laundry basket. I sniffed and shook my head, this girl is going crazy. I wonder who the idiot was that left her at my house.

I went back to my room, but this time I didn't want to touch those air bags, I would do that later. I just took my bath and then got out of the shower, I walked over to the laundry basket, I fearfully took the clothes that the psycho left here for me. What a freak.

I put on my underwear not even caring if they were mine, but I should because they were in my room. Did she touch my underwear drawer? I don't think so! I'm going to kill that girl. I put on my Marley's Titans shirt, dark blue cotton shorts and wrapped my hair in a towel. I opened the bathroom door full of hate, but I froze in place. damn it! It was the same room as yesterday, it wasn't a dream. I mean, did I faint? Yelena kidnapped me right? Oh, shit!

I have to go, I'm going to confront the psycho and demand she take me away from here. My mother is going to talk like hell in my ear for missing the math test.

I left the room, the house was silent. I wonder who lives here? I looked at the walls and saw some pictures, who were those people?

-That looks like Sasha, could it be Gaby? Why do you have a picture of a young Gaby?

I stared and saw Niccolo, or could it be his older, bearded double? What is this fucking place?

I was busy trying to think of some explanation, searching in my memory of who this house could be and why I had those pictures. One caught my attention, it was the same boy I saw yesterday, or before, I don't know. He is sitting on a woman's lap and.... Wait! Zofia? But this is impossible, Sofia is only 5 years old.

Who is this older copy of my younger sister?

Now it was true, I was scared to death. Suddenly a doorbell rang through the house, it's my chance. I ran to the stairs, down the steps cautiously. What if he is Yelena's accomplice?

-You said you would go with me to see Kaya's things, Yelena.

Niccolo! Now's my chance to get out of here. I ran down the rest of the steps, only he could help me. I heard Yelena's voice and followed, then I came to a huge living room, Yelena was talking and gesticulating with.... Niccolo? But he didn't look so tall yesterday at school. He didn't have short hair either, but it can be cut, Pieck right? Duhhh.

-Niccolo?

I called out to him curiously, at the sound of my voice they both fell silent. Niccolo turned to me and smiled. Bitch. Shit. But what? Since when does he have a beard? Since when does he look like such a man?!

-Pieckie, good afternoon." He came over to me and gave me a hug, he was stronger too. I didn't hug him back because I was too scared. -Can you convince your dear little wife to help me buy furniture for Kaya's room? Her goddaughter and my wife would appreciate it.

What the hell was I talking about? Wife? My wife? Your wife? When did she get married? When did she...

-Is this some kind of stupid fucking joke?

I exclaimed making him jump and stare at me. I heard Yelena sigh heavily, but she was too busy trying to figure out what fucking parallel universe this was.

-That's what I was trying to tell you, brother," Yelena spoke, I noticed she had a blank stare, "Pieck is not feeling well today, I don't know what happened.

-What happened? You stupid girl, you kidnapped me and drugged me!

I tried to move towards her, who shrank back in surprise, I felt strong arms around my waist. Niccolo stopped me from killing her sister.

Do drugs make you hallucinate so much?

-What happened? What do you mean Yelena drugged and kidnapped you? Pieck, why would he do that to his own wife?

Niccolo sounded playful. Yelena gave a crooked smile and nodded her head in agreement with him But what the fuck?

-Are you looking at my face too? Since when am I married to that stupid girl?

I let go of him completely indignant, not caring about Yelena's seemingly hurt expression Why is he doing this shit to me?

Niccolo had his brow furrowed, looking confused. He looked at Yelena and then at me, grabbed my left hand and lifted it, leaving the gold ring on my left ring finger visible. But. like. It happened. This...

-Since nine years ago, when you said yes?

He spoke as if it were obvious. My stomach churned again. I felt like I would pass out again and turned away from him, but instead of holding on, I blacked out again.

  
Here we go again.

//

I heard a lot of voices, but I couldn't identify any of them. Why does my body feel like it weighs a ton? Where am I?

-Pieck? Can you hear me?

I opened my eyes and blinked a couple of times to get used to the light. My vision took a while to focus, but I could only see a blond guy, dressed in a white coat? Am I in the hospital?

-Where... -I felt my throat hurt, I cleared my throat and straightened up better in bed. -Where am I?

-You're in the hospital. The blond smiled, or the doctor in this case. He's handsome. I'm Dr. Jaeger, I'm glad you woke up. Your wife keeps asking for you.

He informed me and I clenched my jaw. Even he's with the idea of that woman? But what...

-I don't have a wife, I'm not old enough to get married. Nor have I attended college yet.

Dr. Zeke looked at me in confusion, read something on the clipboard in his hands and then approached me. He started measuring my temperature with one hand, I was trying to figure it all out. What's the problem with everyone taking my temperature?

-Do you feel anything? - I shook my head, I just wanted it to go away soon. - Pieck, tell me something. - The doctor sat in the chair next to me, looking at me curiously: "What's the last thing you remember?

I frowned, what the hell kind of question is that?

-I remember waking up this morning in a strange house with a psychotic woman who everyone insists is my wife.

I said in one breath. I just want to go home, I want my parents, my boring sisters. I'm never going to complain about my life, I just want everything back in its place.

-Before, what do you remember before you woke up?

I'm confused... but this must be part of a diagnosis or test, whatever.

-I remember taking a walk with the psychotic you claim is my wife, then I lay down on my bed and fell asleep.... And then I woke up on that unfamiliar morning and everything is strange, the people I know seem older and.... What's going on?

I confess I'm desperate. Why does everything seem so strange? Why don't things look in their place? Why do they insist on treating me like I'm someone else?

-It's all right. - Dr. Zeke wrote something in his notebook and then got up. - I'm going to call your wife and parents, I think we need to have a conversation.

She's not my wife! But wait... My parents? Great! I'll be able to come home.

I was anxious, now I even smiled. Dr. Zeke opened the door and called my parents and the psychopath. First it was Yelena, she smiled awkwardly and I ran my face. Then it was my turn... Mother? Why are you so old?

-Mother?

I almost cried, my mother or whoever this person is showed a huge smile and quickly came to me. She hugged me tightly and looked over my shoulder. Since when did my father have gray hair?

-Daughter, it's good to see you awake. You gave us quite a scare, you know. When Yelena called me I thought the worst.

My mother? She took my face in her hands, her eyes shining behind her glasses. She seemed happy to see me, that's good.

-Don't scare us like that, Pieck.

Dad came over to me and ruffled my hair. I was still trying to come to terms with the fact that my parents had aged at least ten years in one night. How?!

-Mr. and Mrs. Finger, we need to talk about the Pieck case? - Dr. Zeke said and my parents nodded, holding hands and looking at me. I smiled in confusion. - You too, Mrs. Finger-Stein.

I call Yelena Finger-Stein? What the fuck?

-Finger-Stein? How's that!?

Blow up, I was tired of all this crap. If my parents are participating it must be a great reality, because they look old, they got old. Mom and Dad looked at me confused, Yelena was more annoyed than confused.

-That's what I want to talk about.

-Pieck Why are you talking to your wife like that?

My mother scolded me with her eyes. But how can you say that? Why?

Mrs. Finger, your daughter is suffering from a case of long-term memory loss.

I folded my arms listening to all that crap, I wanted to see how far they would take all that crap. I looked around for a camera, but found nothing. Where are they?

-... And the only thing he remembers is being in high school, that's what he told me.

-I'm in high school!

He exclaimed impatiently, Dr. Zeke nodded his head at me and my parents looked at me, Yelena too but it doesn't count. All three had the same expression: fear and surprise.

-Pieck, what year is it?

-In the year 2001.

I answered as if it was obvious and rolled my eyes. This is bullshit. Yelena lowered her head and mom put her hands to her mouth. What the fuck?

-Pieck," Dr. Zeke walked over to me and pulled a cell phone out of his pocket. Hey! When did they release cell phones this thin? Is that a cell phone? - Please read aloud what date it is.

My eyes almost popped out of their sockets.

-November five-fifteenth, two thousand and fourteen. What the fuck is this?!

I shouted in exasperation, frightened. What was that? What the fuck was that? Where did these fine cell phones come from, why did they change the dates on the calendar?

-It's 2014, daughter.

Dad said almost voicelessly, mom was crying clutching her neck and Yelena... I could see her shoulders shaking as she sobbed.

What scene is this? They must be actors.

-Are you telling me I slept for thirteen years? - My voice was pure sarcasm, they've put on quite a show. - Or rather, did I teleport myself into the future? Oh my God, call the press, they need to know.

I pretended to be in a hurry, I wanted it all to be over, I just wanted to go home, be with my parents, my sisters, teachers and boring school. Of course, to hate Yelena Stein, because she was always my best hobby.

-No, Pieck. You didn't teleport back in time, it's still not possible.

Dr. Zeke explained. I rolled my eyes and let out a snort, my face must be pure boredom.

-Then how did thirteen years go by without me seeing them?

Dr. Zeke took a breath and looked at my parents and Yelena before turning around to look at me and answering completely seriously, so serious that it even made me shiver.

-You have lost your memory, you simply don't remember anything that happened in the last thirteen years.

\-------


	3. Back to life

Pieck POV

This could be some sort of joke or punishment. All right, I've been convinced that it's 2014.... Holy crap! I've lost all my teenage years and part of my adult life.Why just me? I've never been a bad person, I've always respected my parents, why get this punishment?

If life is a joke, with me it is being a complete joke.

Now here I am standing here watching my parents and.... Yelena, talk to Dr. Zeke to understand what happened. In fact, did I marry Strupitius? But how did this happen? We could never stand each other.

How could I fall for that idiot's lip?

-My advice is to let her live her life normally, who knows, maybe by having contact with her wife and child her memory will come back? Honestly, I have no idea how it happened, in my 30 year career I have never heard of anything like Pieck's case.

Oh great, now all that's left is for them to want to do studies on me as if I were a lab rat. zeus! I'm in an unfamiliar world with people I know, but I don't know, can you understand the magnitude of this mess?

-Can you guys stop talking like I'm not here?

She snorted in annoyance, she was shocked that they were talking and speculating as if I wasn't here listening, besides having lost my memory I became the invisible woman?

-Daughter. - Dad came towards me, I sighed wearily. I just want to go home, I want my bed... but does it still exist? - Do you want to go?

-Obvious.

I grunted crossing my arms, I thought it was obvious I wanted to go home. Dr. Zeke whispered something to Yelena, but I didn't bother to listen. I don't have any questions about anything related to that strupícia.

(*Strupício: useless things or people that hinder the good performance of things).

I just want to go home.

To my life without grace.

I just want to sleep and remember everything I had forgotten.... Or rather not. I'm married to Yelena Stein. What have I done to deserve this punishment?

-Dr. What can we do? -Do you have to do some treatment or something?

Even not very interested in that shit, I'm forced to listen carefully, because after all, it's my life, right?

-She will need to do some tests, and for now the only thing I can advise is to let her go back to her normal routine, we still don't know if this memory loss is temporary or if she will never remember those forgotten years.

Oh well, does going back to the normal routine mean living under the same roof as the psychopath? Not really, I'd rather not remember anything and live with my parents. I won't live with her.

//

I told them I wasn't going to live under the same roof with her right? Unfortunately, my mother doesn't look happy with that idea.

-Pieck, daughter, we're trying to help you. The doctor said this might help your memory, what does it cost you to go home to your wife? You must-

-No, Mom! Don't even say that as a joke, I'm not married to her and I don't love her, I hate Yelena Stein with all my might.

I exclaimed without patience, I could no longer bear to hear such things. Everyone around me was saying the same thing, but I don't love her, I can't stand to look at her. Just to think that I was married to her I.... I can't!

  
My chest was rising and falling, mom looked at me surprised by my outburst and shook her head. We heard a cough and looked back, dad was next to Yelena holding her over her shoulder, Yelena looked at me as if I was some kind of monster, I don't know, she looked scared. I couldn't identify her expression, but it definitely wasn't a happy look, but it was far from an annoyed expression. would she be hurt?

Stop staring at me like that, you idiot! You're making me look bad.

Even if I had no other feelings for Yelena except hatred, that look was getting to me somehow. Dad whispered something in her ear and she just nodded, let go and then turned around and left the room without saying anything, I felt bad Why? I shrugged under my father's hard stare.

-Did you really need to say all those things, Pieck? - He scolded me in a way he had never done before. never? Ugh, I hate this damn amnesia, you idiot memory. - Yelena has signed the discharge, you're going home and no more talking, there's no point in whining. - I fold my arms, I don't want to go to that house, she'll be there. - Now let's go.

I ordered firmly, I was feeling ten years old when my father was fighting with me for having done something wrong. I looked at my mother and she just shook her head, making it clear that she would not take advantage of anyone, let alone say anything. Still with my arms crossed and my head down, I passed my father and left the room. I just want to wake up tomorrow remembering all that shit and put an end to this turmoil in my head.

We left the hospital after a few minutes, my parents wanted to talk about some more things with Dr. Zeke, he pointed them to a psychologist for me, he said he would help me figure out what had happened to me. This is all too crazy, too much information for me.

-Mom. - She called out to him and looked over her shoulder before opening the door, she quickly walked over. - Do I really have to go to Yelena's house?

-Pieck Finger! You can stop. - I snorted, what the fuck! Everyone decided to make my decisions. They don't understand that I can't stand this girl... woman, whatever. - She's your wife, you may not remember it now, but that woman over there. - pointed to the other side of the car, Yelena was putting something in the trunk of a car I assumed was hers. At least she has a car now. - She loves you more than anything, more than you can imagine. Daughter can you at least try to be nicer? Don't hold on to the anger of the past, things have changed.

I twisted my mouth and kept looking at Yelena, she stood up properly again and closed the trunk. Her hair messed up in the wind and she immediately tried to stop them with her long fingers. I almost sighed, almost. Okay, I can hate her, but I can't deny that she's attractive. She could be a stranger couldn't she? So she wouldn't be... Wait!

-Pieck? Come on, Falco will be out of school soon.

I frowned, opened the car door and got in. Who Falco Louis? 

I straightened up in the seat and put on my seat belt, I like safety. Dad put the car in gear and started to maneuver out of there.

-Hmm, who is Falco?

I asked extremely curious, my father looked at me in the mirror and my mother sighed. Did I ask a stupid question?

-Falco is your son, Pieck.

Great, I still had this.

//

We parked in front of a house, unfamiliar to me, but my parents seemed to be used to coming here. Yelena lives here? Not bad. It was already dusk, the garden lights were on. It's a beautiful house. Well, looking from the outside I could tell it was a nice house. There was a black luxury car parked in front of the garage door, nice car. I heard the sound of a car and looked to the side, there was the car where Yelena was before. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, back to normal life, really? Back to a "normal life" is the only life I remember is the one I had thirteen years ago.

-Don't be rude to your son, can you do that? He's not guilty of anything and he's completely in love with you.

Dad was serious, but when he saw a little creature in that car his face changed completely, he smiled big and was on his knees on the floor with his arms open. I watched the scene in delight, I wasn't going to be a hypocrite and say that something wasn't stirred in me by all this. I have always loved children, and I don't even remember my supposed pregnancy and the first time I held that little creature in my arms, seeing him joyfully screaming grandfather left me smitten. My father got up from the floor with the little one in his arms, Falco laughed clutching my father's neck. He is a marvel to watch.

-Honey, don't make too much effort so you don't get sick again.

My mother said scolding my father, she looked nostalgic remembering. I wanted to remember. My father stopped turning Falco and placed him on the floor, ruffled the little hairs of the little boy who smiled and then grabbed my mother's legs. He seemed to love my parents very much.

I continued just watching, the little one seemed not to have noticed, however, he was grateful for it because he did not know what to do, how to react to his presence. My mother said something in his ear and only then did Falco look at me, his eyes seemed to sparkle at the sight of me. My heart fluttered in a way that I thought I was having a heart attack.

-Mommy!

He screamed and ran to me, his little arms raised and practically jumping, hoping I would catch him in my lap. He swallowed spittle and looked frightened at my parents, my mother nodded as if encouraging me and my father just looked at me as if to say, Take him in your lap, Pieck!

I could even hear his voice commanding it. I shook my head and bent down a little to grab him, the little guy clung to my neck so tightly that I smiled instead of complaining about the lack of air. What a delightful hug.

I wrapped him in my arms and rested my head on his little shoulder, talking many things at once, while smiling all goofy from that hug. Do mothers feel like this when they hug their children? Is it normal to feel your heart swell just with this contact?

-... And then mommy took me to Mc'Donalds for lunch and I won a Finn and Jake, mommy bought two snacks for me. You have to see them, Mommy.

I looked at her smiling all gawking, Falco looked like an electric kid, full of energy. He reminded me of when I was little, he looked like a rattle. At least that's what my mother always said.

-Right now? - He nodded frantically, bit his tongue between his teeth and smiled. Oh my God, he really is my son. - How about the little mister, take a bath, get something to eat and then we play with his new toys? 

-Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

He shouted excitedly and I laughed at his haste, in the background I could hear the laughter of three more people, but I was too busy watching the little jumping Falco. After putting him on the ground, he ran towards my parents, but he ran past them and headed towards Yelena, who quickly took him in her arms. She looks experienced, I said to myself. They talked about something, Falco whispered something in Yelena's ear who smiled and then did the same finger touch with him and turned to my parents.

-Shall we go?

She called out to them and then looked at me, smiled sideways at me and shrugged her shoulders. She seemed happy to see my almost smile and smiled. Yelena looks like someone else.

Well, Pieck, she must be someone else, they're not in high school anymore.

I just need to put that in my head and then things will start to fall into place.

\--------


	4. Some Videos

Pieck POV

I'm sitting looking at my parents, entertaining and laughing, cooking something or trying to cook. The smile never left my face, it's so good to see even after all this time, they both still look like a couple of teenagers in love. My parents have always been the model of relationship I wanted to have in the future, was my marriage to Yelena like that?

But what... I shouldn't be thinking about it, should I?

I snap back to reality when I feel someone tugging at my blouse, pulling me away from the table a little and I look down to find that cute little guy. He has my face...and he has some of her features.

-Hello, little guy.

I take him in my arms and put him on the table, sitting in front of me. The table is solid wood, apparently without any risk of breaking.

-Sit down, Mommy, smell.

She stretches her small hands towards my face, I reach over and sniff, it has a delicious smell of..... coconut and oatmeal? It seems so, I run my nose up his arms and then up his neck, he laughs and tries to stop me. I laugh, continue to slide my nose into the egg between my shoulder and neck. The smell reminds me of something, it looks like the perfume I wore...back in the day. It was my favorite.

-Mmm you smell good.

-I have your scent, mom bought me that perfume you loved.

I raise my eyebrows in surprise, how do you know? Oh, of course... We're married. At least, she seems to know me, Yelena is not as useless as I thought she was.

-Good choice.

I look at Yelena who is standing next to us, a little distant. She smiles sheepishly as she watched me interact with Falco. It's strange to think of him as my son, because technically speaking I feel like a sixteen year old girl. That's so...

I go back to talking to Falco, who excitedly talks to me about his day at school and how much he was looking forward to summer vacation. I listen carefully, going to follow Dr. Zeke's advice and try to live my old routine, even though I don't know anything about it yet. Yelena joins my parents and helps them finish dinner.

Everything went very well, others would say we were one big happy family. In terms we really are, but.... You understand, don't you? I don't feel totally connected to them. I mean... connected to her.

Dinner was perfect, mom made sure to say that the rice was Yelena's merit, as well as the tomato salad. Mrs. Finger spared no praise for her, which only made me believe even more that she and my father admire and love Yelena. They seem so close to us, I just wish I knew when exactly it happened.

I just want to understand how we came to be here, how did we get to this point?

//

Unfortunately my parents had to leave, they claimed they had to work early tomorrow, although they seemed to be lying. But I didn't know anything about their lives now, who knows if they really had work. I took them to the door and before they left, they both said the same thing: Don't be rude to Yelena, she's not guilty of anything, you're not in high school anymore and you don't hate her anymore.

Nice family, now that explains my faulty memory.

Of course I didn't say that, will they decide to punish me somehow? Besides, I haven't lost respect for them and responding to them, ironically is losing respect. Anyway...focusing on my normal unconventional, or near-normal routine.

  
Falco was in the room, I know this because I was listening to the sound of the TV, I go to him and see him lying on his stomach, he stayed with his chest pressed against the seat of the couch and lifted his hips. Is he dancing to that song? Is that position comfortable? I'll ask him later if he always sits like that, I made a mental note. I hear the clatter of dishes in the kitchen and sigh, now I'll have to have a conversation with her anyway. I know my will is to run, get on the first plane and get out of here, but... it's my life isn't it? I need to live, and the first step is to understand her.

-Hello.

My voice didn't come out, I'm nervous, scared and afraid. Yelena has heard so many things from me today and it was so snubbed, I was so embarrassed to have to face her face to face now. Yelena turned off the faucet and stops scrubbing the dish that was in her hand in when she hears my voice, she looks over her shoulder at me. Surprise, that's what her look seems to show.

-Uh, hello... - I smiled shyly and she smiled too, this time for real. I walk over to the table and sit down so I'm facing her, how should I behave with my "wife" who in my mind I can't stand, but they say I love her? - I have washed her strawberries, they are in the pot and I put the condensed milk in too, are you going to want some shredded coconut?

I put my eyebrows together in confusion, strawberries? I didn't order any strawberries. I don't remember the strawberries What is the crazy woman talking about?

-What?

Yelena finishes washing the dish and puts it in a colander, picks up a dish towel that was in the sink and then turns to me. I keep looking, waiting for an answer, after almost a minute she finally seems to realize this.

-Oh, shit! - I smack his own forehead. - I forgot... Yeah, that's weird - she whispers, seeming to say the last part to herself. - You usually like to eat strawberries after dinner, or a banana and kiwi.

She clarifies and shrugs, the shy smile on her face making her nervousness clear. I nod and stare at the pot on the table, unbelievable as it may seem those strawberries look very appetizing. Maybe I'm quite fond of strawberries now.

It must be just one more of those things I started liking as the years went by, and that includes the psychotic, not so psychotic. Yelena was looking at me all the time, every move. Don't look at me. Take the first spoonful with strawberries in my mouth and when I feel the sweet taste.... La. Whore. What. Me. Gave birth to me. What a delight.

-This. - I speak with my mouth full, fill one more spoon and put it in my mouth. It's delicious. - It is. - I swallow some of the strawberries - Great.

I finish chewing and fill the spoon again, Yelena looks at me and I swear I heard her laugh a couple of times. But I don't really care, I just want to eat, am I going to keep eating the same way I did when I was a teenager?

Man, it's so weird to be an adult when really in my head I'm just a teenager.

-More?

Yelena asks and I pause at that moment, I was practically licking the jar where the strawberries used to be. My cheeks heat up on the spot, I swallow the sweet liquid I had in my mouth and slowly put the pot on the table, eyes fixed on the table. Great, Pieck. Acting like an uneducated teenager.

I have to learn to behave like a woman.... But it's so hard.

-I'm not... I am, satisfied.

I clear my throat and shift uncomfortably in the chair, embarrassment is little for what I'm feeling right now. I hear Yelena let out a nasal laugh, after the white hand was taking the pot and wiping the table. Still pale as a vampire even after all these years, this creature didn't get color did she?

  
-What's so funny?

I ask irritated from hearing her laugh under her breath, Yelena stops laughing and lowers her shoulders. The years have let her loose. Why doesn't she refute what I'm talking about?

-Nothing, nothing. - She washes the pot and spoon and puts both in the strainer, dries her hands on the cloth and then turns to me. - It's just funny to see you so awkwardly.

I frown, waiting for her to say I'm acting like a child.

-I've always been shy. - Rebato, Yelena purses her mouth and looks at me as if she disagrees. - She doesn't?

-No. -She plays with the cloth in the sink and then with both hands leaves it on the edge, lying there. - You were, in your teens, I mean, after you finished high school you became someone else.

I lean my elbows on the table, I'm very interested to know about me. This is so strange it's funny. Yelena softens her neck, she looks like she doesn't know what to do, talk or act. It is very strange to see her so shy, Yelena has always been arrogant and self-confident. Well, at least in my mind she still is, but in reality things seem to have changed.

-Yelena, I kind of c-

-Mom!

I was about to ask her about the exact moment I agreed to go out with her, or how we got to the point of getting married. I wanted to know how our relationship started and how she evolved a lot. But Falco's shout surprised us so much, I automatically get up and leave the kitchen before Yelena. I seem to have no control over myself, my senses seem to be on alert. I reach the room with Yelena at my heels, Falco is still in the same position, is he hurt? I knew that position was not comfortable.

-Hey, is he okay?

I ask after turning around on the couch and facing me, Falco carves his eyes with one hand and smiles at me. He has her smile, but it's so cute.

-Where's Mom?

-I'm here.

An animated and worried Yelena sits next to me on the floor and looks down at the little boy. She yawns and then points to the TV.

-He's going to start adventure time, you promised to watch it with me.

He looks at her with sparkling eyes, I'm puzzled. He seems to be falling asleep, but he seems willing to stay awake just to watch cartoons with Yelena. Is she as good a mother as she seems? Falco seems in love with her, they are close and I just witnessed it for a few hours.

-I remember, good boy. - She sits cross-legged like an Indian, picks him up with a little effort and puts him in her lap. - Remember Mom told you a thousand times not to watch TV like that?

He nods awkwardly, seemingly afraid of scolding. Is the mom in question me in this case? I already knew something about his position didn't please me at all.

-I'm sorry, Mom.

How could I not personify this cute little thing? Am I a "bossy mom"? Is that why he and Yelena are so close?

I can't believe I'm a bossy stay-at-home mom.

-All right, Fal.

He almost hit me for calling him that way, should I call him son?

But the huge smile on Yelena's face tells me that for some reason it's not bad, do I always call him that? Maybe yes, I have to ask the crazy lady later.

  
Pieck! Stop. Okay, now even I'm berating myself for calling the crazy, crazy.

Oh, shit!

I decide to join the two of them, Yelena seems very happy to see me there next to her, but she tries her best not to show it, but she doesn't succeed, even though I try not to be rude to her, she seems to really like me. I want to understand more about our relationship, but I just can't stand her.

How did she manage to conquer me enough to get to the point of marriage and have a child? And more.... That he was born from me! FROM ME! I never imagined having children. I mean, I thought, but ever since I found out I was a lesbian, I always thought that when I married my wife she would carry our children, not me.

//

I'm in the room, the one that's mine and Yelena's, she warned me she would put Falco.

In her bed, I shrugged.

There in "our room" is only a double bed. Obvious, genius, where is she going to sleep? Well, she should sleep in the bed. Do we have another room? A guest room?

Because sleeping next to her won't do it, I won't do it yet.

-Are you going to take another bath or can I take mine?

I jump when I hear Yelena's voice behind me, she sounds like a ghost, coming in all quiet. I wanted to see her reaction if I had hit her. That would be great.

It would be.

-Uh, I... No, it's okay, you can have yours.

I look at her and try to smile, I try, but my lips don't obey me. Yelena looks at me for a few seconds and then smiles shyly, passes me and goes straight to the bathroom. I go to the bed and get under the sheets, the room is half warm, but I don't want to get up and turn on the fan or air conditioner. I was so long debating with myself that I didn't notice that Yelena was back in the room, humming a low music and a hum echoes through the room. She turns on the air conditioner, thank you strupitiously.

Yelena's hair is tousled and only a towel wrapped around her body covering her nakedness. Girl! Where are your clothes? Get dressed I'm not grateful. A sliding door opens that I hadn't seen until then, what do you have there?

I'm curious, but I don't dare to get up and go, tomorrow I'll find out what's there. Minutes later Yelena comes out, her scent pervading the whole room. Grape cream, one of my favorites. She's wearing an oversized Marley shirt, her hair is now down, cascading over her shoulders. Yelena reaches over to the bed and pulls the sheet, soon getting under it as well. I open my mouth in disbelief, why isn't she sleeping in another room?

-Goodnight love.

She's calling me love again, will she never stop? 

Take a deep breath, stay calm, Pieck, stay calm.

-It's... -It's... - I clear my throat to get her attention, Yelena turns to me and looks at me curiously. -Are you going to... sleep here?

I point to the bed and she accompanies the movement with her eyes to where I'm pointing, she frowns and turns around to look at me. I give my best cold look, I want her to get up and get out of here. I want to sleep alone, okay?

-I'm leaving, right?

I can't identify if his tone was one of obviousness or confusion, but I sigh in irritation and pull my face away. I don't want to sleep next to her.

-There's another room in this house, isn't there? The couch looks soft.

I suggest, trying to keep my voice as neutral as possible so I don't sound so rude. Yelena looks at me for a few seconds in disbelief. You didn't really expect me to sleep next to you, did you?

-Are you kicking me out of our room? - I nod and open my mouth a little. - Why?

She looks curious and now with her head down, takes a deep breath. Don't be rude, don't be rude.

-I don't have the slightest desire to sleep next to you.

Wow, Pieck, you're bad at it. Yelena lets out an almost soundless "oh" and lowers her head, moistens her lips with her tongue and then gets out of bed almost violently. Now I'm scared, she looks so angry. She grips her pillow, so tightly that I hear the sound of the pillowcase almost tearing. I try to say something and apologize for the idiocy, but it's too late. Yelena has opened the door and closed it with extreme force.

I think I asked wrong.

//

The next day I wake up alone, open my eyes and the first thing she sees is the white of the ceiling in the room. I yawn a little in bed and run my hands over my face. Everything is quiet, what time must it be? I look at the nightstand and see a digital clock, 11:40 am, I sigh. It's still early. I look around and see nothing, where is the crazy lady, is she still upset?

I sit on the bed and notice that the same door where Yelena came in is half open, I think there must be another bathroom.

Yelena won't mind me going through her things?

On second thought... 

The things here in this house are mine too, right? Okay.

Without wanting to think too much, I get out of bed and go over there, open the wooden door and slide it to the side. That's a... Oh it's not a bathroom it's actually a closet. Are we rich or something? Because we have a closet.

Although judging by the furniture in this house, the size of it and the cars in the garage, I think we have a good life. what job? I need to remember to ask that question to strupício later. I walk into the closet and, wow. It's really nice, full of shelves and has a mirror on the end of it. I look around, it's full of clothes on all the shelves, at the bottom are several shoes. We are organized. Zeus! Now I'm even speaking in the plural.

I hesitantly walk through that space. Some clothes I can identify as Yelena because she always loved leather things, this has not changed despite the years that have passed. My taste although it seems a little different, was not far from what it used to be. The number of dresses hanging on the left side makes it clear to me. I identified that they are mine by being very colorful and half childish, as Yelena wears more neutral and social colors. She has good taste in clothes.

Armani.

Prada.

Lanvin.

Chanel.

Jesus! Does Yelena work for some kind of British mafia?

Why British? She's of British descent. In fact as far as I know, she and Niccolo were born in the UK. Anyway...

Did Yelena have a law degree? Apparently yes, almost everyone in her family is a lawyer. Her parents always wanted her and Niccolo to study that career, since they were little they prepare them for it. And how did she know all this even though she couldn't stand her at that time? Sasha! She knew everything about Niccolo's life.

  
Speaking of her... I need to know how my best friend is doing, and my sisters. There are so many things.

I sigh, keep my hair in a casual ponytail and go looking in that closet. I see a black picture on the top shelf in front of the mirror, it catches my eye. what do you have in there?

Curious as I am, I can't control myself and go there to check. I look for a bench or a chair, I hate being too short. I could have grown at least a little, couldn't I? At least I have breasts.

Finding a bench, I climb on it and pull the box towards me. It's heavy. Carefully, I pick it up and climb down from the bench, put the black plastic box on the floor and look around, searching for a label. But there is nothing.

I'm even afraid to open the lid, I have a big problem and it's called curiosity. Take a deep breath and pull the lid and books... and CDs?

-Can I see them here?

I wonder. Well... anyway, Yelena hasn't come back, from wherever she was, I hope she's delayed. Taking some CDs, only the ones labeled: Yelena. That's what's written on the CD. Well, now I'm very curious. I took only one CD and leave the others in the box, I close the lid and get up from the floor. I get out of the closet and close the door. What am I going to do now, do I see what's on the CD or...?

I hear the sound of something vibrating, looks like a cell phone or.... I don't know what. I walk in the room trying to figure out where the noise is coming from What is this shit? The noise seems to be coming from a chair, there's a bag there. I go quickly is it mine? Well anyway I think I can take it. Yelena is not here. I open the bag and start looking for where the vibration is coming from, finding a cell phone? Well, it looks like that, even though it's thin and too big. And this Koala cover?

It is a cell phone, the screen is on. My Luck is the name of the contact on the screen. You can read the content of the message on the same screen, which says "Your password is 2706".

Password for what?

Only then I noticed the "slide to unlock" that appears on the screen, I slide it to the side and some square keypads appear, type the numbers that were in the message. The message icon has a small number 7 on it, I click there. 3 messages from the contact "My Luck", 1 from a "Mufa", 2 from "mom" and the second one is from a "Oxygenated Blonde."

-ANNIE!

I exclaim laughing, I don't need to think too much, I'm sure it's her. But I decide to click on the first messages.

"Piku, I came to the studio in a hurry and will be home soon."

"I made you breakfast... it's... enjoy it."

Yelena. Surely she was, just that? Only she calls me that, it seems that hasn't changed. So she'll be back later? I can listen to the CD. Yelena said she was in a studio, is she a singer or something?

That would explain the expensive clothes and shoes in the closet. 

There's even a TV in the room. Who decorated this house? Yes it was Yelena, she has good taste. Well, she married me, right? Either way she has good taste.

I had to laugh at my stupidity, my self-esteem is at least good.

I put the CD in the DVD player and took control, so I turned on the TV. I went back to bed and sat on the edge, the screen went dark for a few seconds and then, yes, I appeared on it.

  
What the fuck, am I a singer or what?

-Piku?

-I'm here.

In the video I'm sitting on the same bed with the camera in front of me. I make some faces and the door opens.

-What are you doing?

Yelena asks me, I sit better on the bed and turn the camera towards her. Yelena was wearing a white t-shirt, her hair messy and her face free of makeup. I confess, she looked beautiful. The years seemed to have done well with her. I have good taste, I can't deny it.

-I was testing the camera, I thought it had broken last week.

I shrugged and Yelena laughed, the camera pointed at the floor and there were noises and laughter. shall we kiss?

Ew! I don't think so.

Someone picks up the camera, this time focusing on both of us and Yelena was the one taking it. She had a big smile, I was clinging to her neck. My eyes had a nice, true gleam in them, Christ! We looked happy, I really seemed to be in love with her.

But how? My stomach churned just thinking about that possibility.

-Are we going to film the two of us holding each other? Really?

Yelena asks without looking at me, keeping her eyes fixed on the camera. Did I give her a kinky smile? Why am I smiling like that?

-Well, I... I thought we could do some activities.

I raised my head and bit his neck. I don't think so! Are we going to start making out? Why the hell is that on tape? I don't want to finish watching it, but I can't stop.

-What kind of activity?

She asked in a husky, sensual voice. I close my eyes for a few seconds, I can't believe she is going to see me making out with the psycho. I hear my laughter and open my eyes, our lips were close, she was trying to kiss me but I was pulling my head back. Yelena pouted and I bit both her lips, then just the bottom one. argh! How awful.

-I want you to... - I got up from the bed and the camera moves, I had taken it from Yelena's hand. I walked back a little and stood in front of the bed, Yelena was looking at me unblinkingly, waiting for what I would say. - Do one thing.

Yelena's expression went from curiosity to anxiety. She seemed to be smiling mischievously. Oh, God! What the hell kind of video is this?

-What do you want me to do?

Yelena got on all fours on the bed and started crawling towards me, my hand appearing in front of the bed, signaling her to stop.

-Will you do what I ask you to do? - She nodded -Anything?

-Always.

She whispers, biting her lip. Okay, Pieck, breathe.

-Masturbate for me. - I ask, my voice coming out in a tone completely unfamiliar to me until then. I open my eyes, what the hell? - I want to see you enjoy deliciously, then I'll lick you whole.

I play approaching the bed. Who is that in the video? Because I was never like that.

Zeus!

Did I become some kind of pervert over the years? I bet it's the psycho's fault. She turned me into that. What did she do to me?

-Are you going to suck me deliciously? - Yelena asks as she pulls up her shirt. She won't... Oh, she did. Her breasts are turgid with pink nipples of a light pink, contrasting perfectly with her pale skin. I'm paralyzed. Get that shit off, Pieck! - Then I'm going to give it back to you?

  
-Sure, I love the things your hot tongue can do.

You're right! That Pieck over there isn't me, it's someone who looks like me.

It's Piku! Not Pieck.

Once again I watch the video and now Yelena takes off the white boxer shorts she had on, throws the underwear at me and I catch it in the air. Yelena smiles wickedly at me and bends one leg, makes a sexy move with it and then spreads both legs apart letting me see her....

-Damn it, no!

I started to despair, by Zeus! I was looking at that crazy woman's ass. I'll never get over it, how am I going to look at her face knowing I saw her naked?

Or worse... I've sucked her. Just thinking about it makes me feel like dying.

-Damn girl.

I hear my own voice say on the video, I was refusing to watch but who says my curiosity diminished?

I open my eyes to peek and.... Bitch. Shit! Yelena has her legs spread wide, one hand is on her pussy making frantic movements with her fingers on her clit, her head thrown back and she moans my name over and over as I encourage her to go faster or slower.

I look mesmerized or horrified? I became a pervert, Zeus!

-PIKU!!!?

My heart races as I hear Yelena calling me down there, Shit what now?

I jump out of bed, my hands are shaking and my breathing is labored, Great! Now all that's left is to have a heart attack. I turn off the TV and press the button to open the DVD. When the lid pops open, I grab the CD and press the button to close it. I run to the bed where the box is and put the CD inside, the door is open. damn it!

My heart is in my mouth.

-Am... Piku?

Yelena calls me again. I want to get out of here, I don't want to look at her face now. I swallow dryly. Where have I gone?

\- I-I.

I stutter a reply, I can hear Yelena take a step, however, she stops. I think she's afraid to reach me. Let her keep it up.

-Did you find your phone? I sent you a message that I was in the studio. - she says casually, looking at him like that we look like a couple. Well, technically we are. I hear the sound of something falling to the floor, it must be his shoes. - I was delayed because I had some problems with the new collection.

Why are you explaining yourself to me? I don't care what you were doing, crazy.

-Love? - he calls me and I clench my jaw. Don't call me that. - Pieck, are you feeling okay?

I don't think she realizes that she even calls me affectionately sometimes. Why doesn't she just call me by my name? I'm not used to hearing her call me so affectionately.

-I am if...just. - I sigh and toss my hair over my shoulder. - I'm going to eat.

I declare and turn away, I don't raise my head, because I don't want to look into her eyes. I can't. I feel his eyes on me as soon as I leave the room.

When I walk into the kitchen he surprises me with the table set, everything was covered properly. He seems to have quite a few things there.

My appetite is still the same it seems.

  
I sit down at the table and lift the first lid off a tray, chocolate filled waffles, holy crap! I love stuffed waffles. Yes, Yelena seems to know me well. I lift the lid of another tray, fruit salad. Game is something I still don't know what it is, eggs and bacon in another pan and pancakes. I hope they are banana.

I'm so engrossed in drinking my coffee and eating that I can't feel Yelena's presence in the kitchen, only when the refrigerator door is open I realized I'm not alone. From under my eyelashes I look at Yelena and regret it. Does she have to be showing her ass? Yelena is picking up something at the bottom of the fridge. Her ass looks so round and hard in those pants, practically clinging to her body. Yelena looks like an attractive businesswoman.

That ass...

Soon the scenes from the sex tape I saw earlier invade my mind: Yelena sweating and masturbating, Yelena moaning my name, me guiding Yelena to orgasm.

If I think about it too much it seems absurd, almost like a nightmare. But if I don't think about it too much I feel horny. Even wet.

A shadow passes in front of my eyes, I jump in the chair and my body becomes alert. I hear his laughter and only then do I notice the white creature standing next to me and laughing at me.

-You had a funny face, are you feeling okay? Your face is red.

I look at her face and see great concern reflected in her eyes. It's strange to see that look on her and not the debauchery I'm used to. When am I going to adjust to all this? I swallow dryly, shake my head to chase away all those not pure and confused thoughts.

-I'm fine, I just remembered a few things.

Yelena raises her eyebrows as if to say "oh yes", puts her hand to her mouth and bites into a strawberry. Her lips closed on her fingertips, she closes her eyes and moans. she moaned! No way.

Then a kind of flash stops through my eyes and I imagine Yelena spread-legged on one of these benches, a cup of strawberries beside her. She has one leg propped up on the counter to let me see her....

-Stop it!

I shout suddenly, Yelena opens her eyes and looks at me in surprise. I let out a low growl and avert my gaze, it's hard to face her right now. My God, I'm having erotic visions with the psycho, it was just what I needed.

-Piku, you-

-I'm fine, Yelena.

I'm direct, short and cold, showing that I don't want to talk. I don't see her expressions, I swear if she keeps looking at me like that, I'm going to snap my fingers from.... Breathe, Pieck. You're not in high school anymore, you don't seem to hate it anymore.

Apparently

//

Now I'm in the living room watching some random movie, or at least trying to watch it. I finished breakfast 10 minutes ago, this time I made sure to do all the dishes. I don't want to be relying on strupício. I hear noises upstairs. What is this woman doing? It only remains that she is a sinister sadist and wants to torture me to make my memory come back again.

To go or not to go?

Better not, what if I see unnecessary things?

Type: Yelena masturbating and enjoy? Stop doing that, Pieck Finger!

The noises stop. Just as well. Seconds later, quick footsteps are heard on the stairs and they approach.

-Piku? Your phone was vibrating," Yelena lets me know and as I was about to get up to go get them, she holds out the slim device in front of me. - Y... It was you who took our video box?

  
Our videos... Ours. Oh, he's got my videos in there too?!?

And fuckin' hell! You noticed I moved it. Do you know the video I saw?

-I'm not scolding you, Pieck. -I'm not scolding you, Pieck. The videos are ours, everything in our room, just like everything in this house," Yelena says noticing my expression of fear and guilt, she sighs heavily. I feel movement on the couch next to me, she sat down. - Love, you need to start feeling good in your home, it's theirs, you're not a stranger here.

That's easy for you to say, you idiot!

-Yelena, can you do me a favor? - I turn around to look her in the eyes. She nods and smiles. - Will you please stop calling me love! - Her mouth opens and closes, she seems to be looking for something to say but then sighs defeatedly and lowers her head, she looks crestfallen and just shakes her head awkwardly. I roll my eyes, why is she acting this way? Argh! Pieck, they're married. And my father told me I can't be rude to her, but I just can't. Yelena gets up from the couch and turns around to leave, but I'm quicker and grab her arm. Is it too weird to say that that touch doesn't make me angry? - It's just... It's hard you know, I can't handle it all, it's not easy for me.

Yelena lets out a laugh without any trace of humor. Confused I frown, I thought she was hurt, I automatically let go of her arm and put them next to my side of my body.

-I'm trying to understand, Pieck I swear I do! - She almost spat out the words, her voice was pure irony. That's the Yelena I know. - Is it hard for you that you don't remember anything? But I'm sure it's no worse than seeing the love of your life treat you with cold treatment, as if you were a nobody, a waste.

She looks at me for a few seconds and the look she gives me, I feel myself shrink under that gaze. Yelena shakes her head and turns around to leave the room.

For the first time in my life I feel bad for having offended or hurt her.

Shit. My father will scold me if she tells him.

I sit back down on the couch, my eyes wandering around the room. I hear the front door open and then slam shut. Great, maybe now she'll find another woman on the street and leave me.

Or maybe not, Pieck. Stop being a little stupid. I'm berating myself, was Yelena like that with me for all those years? I lost count of how many times I felt submissive by her gaze from yesterday to today.

What will the rest of our lives be like?

My phone starts to vibrate endlessly, I catch a glimpse of "Mufa" on the screen, do I answer or not? I debate with myself, but decide to answer. Maybe it's someone important.

-Pieck? - My heart races at the sound of that voice. Not in a thousand years would I forget Sasha's voice, she was still the same. - It's me, Sasha.

-Sashaaaa!

I exclaim excitedly, I think my friendship with Sasha is still the same, even though the nickname seems to have changed. I hear her laughter on the other end, my heart feels grateful now and it's not hurting.

-Did you feel homesick? I'm heading to your place in a few minutes, Kaya's not home and Niccolo just left, I think he was going to meet Ymir and your wife.

He shoots off to talk, does he know about my memory? Well, if he doesn't know I have to tell him, or if Niccolo told him, for sure Sasha forgot. But... Niccolo? The wife he was talking about yesterday was Sasha? Oh my God, I can't believe my best friend is married to her crush from elementary school. And who would Kaya be? His daughter?

-... I'll be there soon. I'll bring cupcakes, kisses, kisses.

Hang up, she just talked on and on and hung up. Well, Sasha's still the same as ever.

At least I'll have someone to talk to, I really need someone who understands me.

\-------

Pieck is pretty mean to Yelena, isn't she? I know, but try to understand her.  
You are having Pikulena always, but you are just not aware that you are interacting in the right way and be calm with Yelena, understand that no one can stand bad treatment and just put their head down, right?  
But she will know how to deal with Pieck, but she will have to win her back, they won't have big dramas, but they may have dramitas with all this rejection of Pieck with Yelena.


	5. My son

While Sasha did not arrive, I went upstairs to take a shower. I confess I feel strange taking a bath in this house, sleeping in that huge bed it was strange to walk around here in this silence which is worse.

Are all days like this? Am I alone all day? And the worst, does Yelena support me? I don't think so, I always thought about growing up and becoming independent.

I go into the closet and choose some simple clothes, shorts, short sleeve blouse and banana socks that were near the bed. They can only be mine, because the others have designs of a pattern I have never seen in my life.

I leave the room and go downstairs, enter the bedroom and throw myself on the couch. I feel like a stranger in this house, like a guest. It's very strange that feeling, because this house is basically mine. I live here and... I have no idea how many years, but I live here. It's my house.

It's my house.

But why to me does this house seem like just an unfamiliar house?

Memory loss sucks, yes, I just wanted to remember certain moments, but it was all a blur in my mind. I drum my fingers on my legs and look around, all nicely decorated. The living room has modern decor, oversized TV, huge couches, seriously, these couches look like beds. All very nice, I have to take a day to get to know my house.

Funny you should think about it. I'm going to get to know the thing I've lived in for years.

The doorbell rings, it can only be Sasha. I jump up smiling and run to the door, open it and....

-Fucking shit!

I gasp when I see the smile of that woman standing in the doorway looking at me. Sasha! Time has changed her a lot, but that mouth is unrecognizable as her eyes and smile. Her body has also changed, if before she had a wonderful body, now she has the perfect body.

-So it's true? - she said, but she seems to be talking about herself. Her smile diminished a little and her eyes gain a sad gleam, I frown and in a matter of seconds I feel my body being pulled forward and surrounded by giant arms. - I miss you.

Sasha speaks against my hair, the warm air coming from her mouth tickling my scalp. I shrink against her, sighing happily to have her there, it's nice to be with my best friend in the middle of all this craziness. Sasha strokes my hair and kisses the top of my head, I smile.

-Your hug is still cozy as always.

My voice came out a little muffled because I had my mouth pressed against the valley of Sasha's breasts. She looks even taller now, her breasts have grown. Someone has to have a party on these breasts.

-Of course she's still the same. - Finally, she pulls away from me, I smile and she caresses my face. I close my eyes to enjoy the warmth. - But tell me - He enters without asking permission and still pushes me so I let him. My jaw dropped, still the same old bully. - How did this madness happen? Niccolo came into the house desperate telling everything, that you had lost your memory, that you wanted to hit Yelena. I almost died laughing.

She continues to be talkative, Sasha can talk more than Annie. Speaking of which I need my sister too, has she managed to grow up a bit?

  
I take a deep breath and go to where she is, sit on the couch in front of her and cross one leg with the other.

-I don't know how all this happened. - I pause to sigh, my head drooping. - I woke up yesterday morning thinking I was still in high school, but in reality I'm already married, with a son and a wife that, in my mind I still hate deeply.

-Girl... - her chin drops in a swoop, the disbelief on her face quite clear. I have to get used to it, because I know everyone reacted the same way when they hear me say that. - Putz.

-What?

I asked confused now Sasha has an amused expression on his face.

-I was hoping that this whole story was just Niccolo's joke, I wanted to know how the make-up sex with the lamp post went.

My stomach churns at hearing that, but I can't stop laughing. Only Sasha manages to be so her to the point of playing in the middle of a serious matter. But wait...

Make-up sex?

I ask intrigued, Yelena didn't tell me anything about a fight we had. Although yesterday she told me "it was just a stupid fight last night". I wonder what happened?

-Oh, you don't remember? It's obvious you don't remember anything. - He pushes my ribs and I laugh, grimacing on the couch. - You gave a show the night before last, lucky you don't remember the scene you made in the middle of one of the best bars in Eldia.

I gave a show? What do you mean? What are you talking about?

Y... Eldia? What were we doing in Eldia?!?

-What?

Sasha laughed, or rather, throws his head back and laughs out loud, as if he heard the best joke on the face of the earth. I stand there, not knowing what's so funny and what she's laughing about.

-Pieckie. - He finally stops his laughter and reaches for air. - You drag Yelena out from inside Trip and Rip because a redhead was flirting with her.

My face falls, I can't see, but I'm sure I'm the definition of 50 shades of embarrassed. I can't believe I made a jealous scene in the middle of a bar.

-The funniest part was the staff being afraid of you. And Yelena, Yelena - and laughed again. Here I am dying of embarrassment and this idiot is laughing at my misfortune. - Yelena trying to calm you down and you wanting to let go and throw your shoe at her. You said you would shove it so deep down her throat that not even the best doctor in the world could get it out.

Where's the hole for me to hide in? Lord! What person have I become? Having a jealous fit, making a spectacle of myself in front of people known and unknown because of Yelena.

That idiot Stein!

-... And the best part was that you tried to jump over the bar and make the redhead eat it!

-Sasha, that's not funny!

I scold her. I'm annoyed, embarrassed and flustered, and Sasha is still laughing. What kind of best friend is she?

-Of course she is, if you remembered you'd be laughing too, Super Girl.

-Super Girl?

-Oh yes. Sasha clears her throat and sits up. - Pieck, you have no idea how big the woman was, three times bigger than you.

I roll my eyes, it wasn't enough to have gone through all that embarrassment I was still facing someone much bigger than me.

It's time to die, what a horror.

-... It was like watching a pinscher go up against a bulldog.

And she laughed again. Sasha's an idiot. Why are we best friends?

//

Almost 40 minutes later, he finally stops laughing. Every once in a while she lets out a joke, but I find a way to change the subject.

-So tell me, how did you and Niccolo finally get together?

I ask her genuinely interested, the glow in Sasha makes me immensely happy. I always knew he liked her, but she seems so happy, could it be that he treats her well?

Sasha starts to tell, she says that after the first day Niccolo took her to his house, he asked for her number and they started talking. Two weeks later he asked her out, took her out to dinner, she said she was delighted with everything. And from that dinner they started going out every weekend.

He said that I was the one who supported their relationship the most. Me, I never liked that kind of thing.

Although I seem to be starting to like it at some point since I'm married and have a son. zeus! It's strange, even in thought. When in life have I ever imagined myself married before 30?

-And today we have Kaya, who is 5 years old, the same age as Falco.

Falco, hearing that name brings a big smile to my lips. Sasha notices and smiles the same way, everyone knows I have a strong bond with him. Even after losing my memory, I love him more than anything, I feel him inside me. Because it's not hard to fall in love with him.

-Sasha, answer me one thing. - I have to kill my curiosity. My best friend smiles and winks encouraging me. - I have a few questions. Have Yelena and Falco always been so close?

-Very, you have no idea. - She laughs and I end up laughing as a consequence. - When he was born she lived attached to you and Falco, no one could keep her away, not even the doctors.

Even without meaning to, I smile broadly. To my mind comes an image of a mega over protective Yelena, sleeping awkwardly, yet not leaving my side at any time. Oh she really loves me, is all I can think of as more images form in my mind. I try to visualize any time where I might have felt anything beyond hatred and revulsion, but I see nothing. I smile, however, imagining her as a mother when Falco was little. Could it be that she would wake up in the wee hours of the morning and put him to sleep?

She probably did.

-Pieckie!

Sasha snaps her fingers in front of my face and I snap back to reality.

-I'm sorry, I ended up traveling here. - Sasha lets out a laugh as if to say "I noticed" -Tell me more about your married life, did you get married in church?

-Obviously, we did everything the right way. - She answered smiling, her nostalgic look, she seems to be remembering her wedding day. - You were the godmother.

-Very well.

-You and Yelena, actually.

I resist the temptation to roll my eyes. Why does it seem like we were too close? The way people talk makes it seem like Yelena and I couldn't be away from each other, if only for a minute.

Sasha and I continued to talk. She told me that Annie married Armin, I pretended to be surprised because everyone knew those two were born for each other, I always knew they would marry. They have an eleven year old daughter, Serena, and a nine year old son, William.

  
I can't wait to see my nieces and nephews.

I asked Sasha about Zofia, she told me that my younger sister just got into Harvard, studying law. I am proud, she always said she wanted to be a lawyer. Zofi ended her last relationship about three months ago, she is straight, I am the only one with good taste in the family.

-I'm not going to hold on, I'm going to die if I don't ask you this.

Sasha stares at me, I sigh looking for the right words. I won't make it and to be honest, I don't know if I can ask Yelena all that.

-What do you want?

She looks at me curiously, I feel my cheeks heat up. I'm afraid of the answer to be honest.

-Surely you must know... - I take a deep breath and close my eyes. - With whom was my first time?

I ask all at once and open one eye to peek, Sasha looks at me as if the answer is obvious. Oh no! NO!

-Do I have to answer? You are married to her, you have a child with her.

-No!" I shout not wanting to believe it and Sasha looks at me in astonishment. I can't believe it, let alone accept that my first time was with Yelena. This is a punishment, it's not possible. I remember that at that time I felt a certain attraction for a girl in third year, Hange was her name. - My first time was with Yelena.

I talk to myself, shake my head several times, why did it have to be with her, was she at least cautious? Anyway, if she hadn't been cautious I wouldn't have married her.

I married her.

My first time was with Yelena.

I have a son WITH STRUPÍCIO!

-It's strange to see you surprised to find out, until recently you would be all smiles at the memory of your perfect first time. - Tune your voice a little to imitate me What? - Don't even look at me with that face, Pieck, times have changed. And believe me, you're completely crazy about that woman.

-For God's sake, don't even say that as a joke.

I tell her a little horrified, hearing that from my best friend is worse than hearing from my mother that I'm crazy about Yelena. I hate her!

-Before it would be a joke, I swear if someone told me thirteen years ago that you would be married to Stein today, I would laugh at the person.

Me too, Sasha, me too. I mean, today too because I feel like it's still 2001.

-I can't understand how all that hate turned into love. - Sasha looks at me carefully, I feel almost desperate to understand things. I'll go crazy before I'm 30 - Yelena and I hated each other in high school, like - I'll go crazy before I'm 30.

My speech is interrupted by a loud laugh from Sasha, I press my lips against each other and shoot her with my eyes. She's making fun of me, isn't she?

-Did they hate each other?

She asks with a laugh, I nod and she laughs even harder. Sasha went back to smoking pot and didn't tell me?

-Everyone knows that Yelena and I hated each other!

I exclaim angrily, I was getting on my nerves watching her laugh so hard that her face was turning purple. Everything I say seems to make her laugh harder, why?

-Pieckie, for God's sake! You make me laugh. - I almost growl, Sasha wipes the corners of her eyes with her fingertips and clicks her tongue. - Pieck, the truth is that "Yelena and I hated each other" is actually a "you hated Yelena" at the time. Yelena never hated you, quite the opposite.

  
I am surprised by her revelation. What do you mean Stein didn't hate me? What about the jokes? Provocations? The number of times the satanic creature locked me in the old theater of our old school? The times she made me cry with such rage? How could she not hate me?

-Obviously we hated each other Sasha, you saw everything he did to me.

-Pieck. - Sasha took my shoulders and made me look into her eyes. - Yelena never hated you, now, you hated her, so it bothered you. 

-I hated her because she always bothered me, I never understood why she liked to do it.

Sasha rolls her eyes and lets go of my shoulders, slaps her forehead and blows me away. What's the problem with this creature?

-I'm not used to this silly Pieck. - He shakes his head again and again, I frown in confusion. -Pieckie, Yelena has always had a crush on you.

-What?

I wanted to fry, but my voice was low, just a little more serious.How is that..... That's impossible, Yelena in love with me? Never... at least not back then.

-You had the same reaction when you first found out.

-That's impossible, Sasha. - I got up from the couch and started pacing back and forth, shaking my head. Surprised? That's an understatement to define the moment. - How can you be in love with someone and do everything to make fun of her? What kind of love was that?

The indignation is clear in my voice, I can't believe Yelena had a crush on me in high school. Why did she do all that to me, then, why did she bother me? It would be easier to talk to me, to ask me out. I don't know.

-She wanted your attention! - Stop when you hear what Sasha says. - Pieckie, let's be honest, you never noticed Yelena until she started being "unwelcome." 

She makes quotation marks with her fingers on the last word and lets out a nasal laugh. I sigh, biting my bottom lip and look at some random spot on the wall. Well I had never noticed her before, I can't explain why....

I mean...

She was always self-centered, dumb, stupid, idiotic, idiotic, useless, a strumpet and she had that damn "take it and leave it" reputation. Of course I would never notice her, and one day she just started to annoy me.

I thought it was because she couldn't stand me or found me ugly? But...

-I can't believe it. - I confess, sitting back down on the couch and resting my hands on my knees. -I always thought he didn't like me, I guess I thought he thought I was ugly and that's why he picked on me.

I admit almost voicelessly, it's a bit embarrassing to talk about it, especially now. damn it! She had a crush on me, because of my face. All good that she didn't have a legion of girls after her, but everyone, everyone without exception at school, drooled over her. From boys to girls, even some teachers. No one could look at her without being intimidated by those eyes.

Those damn attractive eyes... But what, Pieck Finger!?!?

Stop it, now!

-You mean to tell me you never noticed the looks she was giving you? - Sasha asks incredulously. I blush as I remember a time I caught Yelena staring at my ass when we were in the locker room, but at the time I wasn't thinking straight. - Pieck, her eyes were always on your face and ended up on your body, especially your ass.

-How did I not notice?

-Maybe because you were too busy hating Yelena instead of watching her.

Sasha wisely concludes. And it makes sense. Maybe if I had picked up on some details, or noticed her appearance and some comments.... Gosh! Yelena in love with me, that's something that doesn't enter my head, even with Sasha repeating it and repeating it.

-Sasha. - I catch his attention and he makes a nasal sound, indicating he's waiting for me to continue. - What was it like... How was my first kiss with her? Was my first kiss with her too?

Sasha wets her parched little lips and takes a deep breath.

-No. My shoulders slump. How could they not? -Your first kiss was with a third year girl.

My jaw dropped. Oh. Me. Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

-My first kiss was with Hange!!!?

I scream in disbelief, Sasha's wide eyes suddenly narrowing, looking at me in a strange way. But I'm too nervous to try to identify that look. I fucking kissed Hange Zoe, you know what I mean? I was super hung up on that girl, I can't believe my first kiss was with her.

-You've really lost your memory.

Sasha interrupts my thoughts and I stop trying to fantasize what the kiss might have been like, it should have been perfect. I look at my best friend and shake my head, what did I miss?

-What happened?

Sasha sighs and moves a little closer to me, frowning.

-Pieck, you hate this story, I mean, you hated because now you don't remember.

Oh my...

-What happened? Why do I hate it? Did she make me? 

I jumped on the couch in surprise, that girl was too perfect. I knew I had a flaw, I didn't have radar for psychopaths, no way.

Until I married one.

-The day you had your first kiss, you and Yelena had argued. And you... you said some things to her in front of everyone.

She seems afraid to talk about it. What did I do to Yelena?

-What did you... - I cleared my throat because my voice was failing. - What did I say to her?

I try to search my memory for something about our fight, try to remember that day. But there's nothing.

Everything is just a stupid lack of definition.

-I don't know very well, no one wanted to comment on it, least of all Yelena. But I know what you said - she throws up her hands and starts counting. - That I was pathetic, bitchy, stupid, stupid, stupid and that I could never find someone to love because I wasn't worthy of being loved.

A lump forms in my throat - did I become some kind of monster at that moment?

-... And then you said that the only person who was worthy of all the good and the best was the person you liked, oh you went and kissed Hange in front of everyone.

-Shit.

I let out low, put my hands on my head and start thinking about what drove me to say those things. Okay I hated Yelena deeply, but I've never been mean to that point, to humiliate someone like that in front of everyone. Even though I'm... I can't even curse, it makes me sick now.

  
I'm the worst person in the world.

-I told you you didn't like this story.

-I was horrible, I'm horrible. Yelena doesn't deserve it.

I am surprised with myself, for the first time I feel rage with myself for having done something wrong to Yelena and treating her that way. And even worse to know that somehow Yelena didn't give up on me, even after all that.

Maybe Yelena wasn't what I thought she was.

Am I the real idiot in this story?

A lot of questions start to form in my mind, I try to get answers, but nothing shows up.

I'm only sure of one thing now; I have to talk to Yelena.

//

Before 18:00 hrs, Sasha said goodbye to me, claiming to have to pick up Toni from school, because Niccolo was still in the office and wouldn't be out soon. He rather followed the career that his parents wanted so much, but according to Sasha he liked it. She told me that Yelena did not want to be a lawyer, her parents were not happy and she decided to follow her dream regardless of them. Sasha did not want to go into details, that is: I would have to ask Yelena everything.

Speaking of her...

I'm still in the room, flipping through the channels looking for a program that caught my attention. But everyone seems bored, the conversation and revelations I had with Sasha in the afternoon still pounding in my mind. I still feel sick.

The front door opens, I try to resist the temptation to look, but it's stronger than me. I look over to the back of the couch and smile at the sight.

Yelena is with Falco sitting on her left shoulder, the two of them are laughing and singing a song. I don't bother listening to the lyrics, I'm more occupied with watching them. They get along so well.

I wonder if at other times, when my memory was good, if I would get up from the couch and join them.

-Mommy!

Falco yelps as he notices me, finally, on the couch, Yelena whispers something in his ear before peeling him off her shoulder and sets him on the floor. I open my arms waiting for contact with this cute little guy.

-Hello my love.

I say as soon as his body collides with mine, Falco grabs my neck and covers my face with kisses, making me laugh. He is affectionate.

I like that.

-I missed you.

I speak the truth, I was really sorry. The house is empty without him and I feel good with his presence. Falco smiled with his tongue between his teeth and I leaned down to kiss his forehead.

-Champ, wash your hands and take a shower. Would you like a sandwich?

Yelena takes off his sneakers and puts Falco's backpack over his shoulder. The little guy moves away from me and starts to take off his clothes and just before he goes upstairs, he tells Yelena that he wants what I want. But he hasn't asked me what sandwich I wanted. I look at Yelena shyly, she looks away and lowers her head. Make eye contact with me, you idiot.

-I...

-... Chicken with tomato and special sauce? - She asks suddenly interrupting me, looks up and manages a small smile, but her eyes are sad. - It used to be your favorite.

  
She says and walks past me towards the kitchen, I look up at her and sigh. Yelena doesn't seem to want to talk, she doesn't even look me in the eye. Not even a decent smile, and these past two days, even after everything that happened, she always tried to smile.

I think I was too hard on her last night.

What if she never talks to me again?

//

-Mommy.

Falco calls my name and I lift my head, pulling him into my lap. I stroke his hair and notice how nervous he looks. After snack, it was full of laughter and random conversations, mostly between Falco and Yelena because I just watched them for most of the time, I felt complete. Even if only for a few minutes, I saw them as family, even if I still don't like Yelena, but I feel like somehow her presence doesn't bother me as much. Not as much as before.

Maybe as the days go by I'll get used to her.

-Did I do something wrong?

I ask him jokingly to make him relax, I'm curious what he wants to talk about.

-No. He shakes his head. - I just... wanted to ask him something.

He lowers his head shyly, my eyebrows arch. Okay, what's wrong? He looks nervous.

-You can ask, little one.

I assure him and Falco sighs, lifts his head and looks at me the way he does when Yelena is nervous. Unbelievable that he was born from me, but he looks so much like her.

-Mommy, did you and Mommy fight last night?

Her eyes sparkle with tears, my heart clenches. Could it be that she heard something? But Yelena and I didn't fight last night, I mean, not exactly.

Maybe he heard Yelena slam the door hard last night.

-Fal, don't pa...

-... Was it because I sat wrong on the couch yesterday? I promise I won't be like that again.

He looks nervous and talks incessantly, gesturing in the same way I do when I'm desperately trying to explain myself. I can't help but notice how much like me he sounds.

-... And I promise I will always put the toilet seat down, never again leave a wet towel on the bed. But please, Mommy, don't fight with Mommy, I don't like to see her sad.

She grabs my waist and starts pleading, I feel bad, if I hadn't been stupid last night maybe Yelena wouldn't look bad like she seems to be, and now I wouldn't be feeling guilty. But it's so hard, I just do it and by the time I realize what I've done it's too late. I hear Falco sniffling is he crying?

-My little one, are you crying?

He shakes his head and mumbles against my belly "men don't cry", I smile, my eyes are wet because I know he is crying. It hurts me to see him like this.

-Mommy, promise me that you and mommy won't argue anymore? - He pulls away and sits up, looks me in the eyes. The gray eyes look at me as if he's pleading, and he was. - I don't like to see Mommy cry, it hurts so much here.

He brings his right hand to the left side of his chest, right at his heart. This and see her sad eyes, a tear rolling down her left cheek. I try to hold back the sob that wants to come out, but it's impossible. Falco notices that I am starting to cry and puts my head in his lap. He starts stroking my hair trying to tell me that he was there and that everything will be okay.

Is he really five years old?

I can't explain it, but knowing that Yelena cried last night managed to leave me incredibly sad. I felt it hurt, it hurt so much. The two of us have some kind of strange connection.

-Mommy, I don't like to see you cry. - Her voice came out choked through the strands of my hair, slurping again. - Mommy always said I have to take care of you every time you cried and she wasn't there. I am the man of the house and I have to take care of you when she is not here.

It was impossible not to smile, I was still crying, but this time I had a little happiness for him. Falco is a very smart boy, obedient and apparently his memory is excellent. Yelena seems to be a good mother, she transformed him into a mini man.

And I thought when she had children they would be psychotic mini pickpockets.

-You're a mini man. - He lifts his head and gets caught in her lap, filling her face with kisses, she laughs and I feel my chest swell. I manage to make him laugh, I'm incredibly happy. - My little man.

I whisper in his ear and smile at him.

My little man... my son.

\-------


	6. Dreams

Two days have passed... Yelena continues to avoid me, even better right? I'm the one who should be doing that.

After all, it was me who lost my memory, I found out I'm married to someone I never supported, I have a child I fathered that I don't remember, I'm in a strange house, all the people I knew are married and completely different.

Why don't you put yourself in my shoes at least a little bit, why can't people understand that I'm afraid of this? I am living my life as if it were someone else.

I am a teenager who is not really a teenager anymore.

The only good thing about all of this to this day, without a doubt, is Falco, this little guy is amazing. He is so smart, handsome, a love child. An exemplary son, he never talks back and always obeys when told to do something. Not to mention we have had enough fun. When he comes home from school I cling to him like my life depends on it, only with him do I feel comfortable in this house.

Yelena just watches us from a distance, I feel her eyes, I see her smiles. Even without wanting to show it's obvious how happy it makes her to see Falco and me interacting. I think she likes it, the only time I see her smile are those hours or when she is with Falco.

Even without realizing that I've been watching her too. She looks tired, her once invisible dark circles are now clearly visible, huge dark bags under her eyes. Yelena, exhausted, I'd say she hasn't slept well at night. But I have no idea if this is my fault or this whole situation or the two reasons combined.

Sometimes I think it would be better for her if I go to stay with my parents just once, next week I am going to do tests to find out what has happened to me and if there is any solution. But if there isn't? How are we going to live like this?

She seems to be suffering while I continued to hate her internally, just a little less. I can't stir up any other feelings for her.

No one can live like this for long, I think at some point she will get tired of my coldness and leave, what if she decides to stay with Falco? I couldn't bear to live without him, no more, I have learned to love this child.

My son.

Mine.

I pray every day that if she decides to leave me, that she will at least leave him to me.

It's so confusing and strange to think about, a child, I have a son, I'm married, to her, the person I hated a long time ago. Is this some kind of joke of life? Very bland joke.

-Mommy!

I come back to reality when I hear Falco's call and frantically pulling on the huge white Marley's Titans basketball shirt I'm wearing, Yelena is also wearing a black one, as well as Falco who is also wearing a black one. Yelena told me that it was a kind of ritual we usually do on game days, she told me that Niccolo got Falco hooked on basketball, and since then he tries to make us like it. Now I understand why he has various Marley's Titans stuff here scattered all over the house. Seriously, Falco's room, has various Titans accessories, as he calls them. Not counting the many t-shirts scattered around.

-Hi, Fal. I got a little distracted here. - I smile awkwardly for him and stroke his hair. His gray eyes are brighter now. - Has the game started?

-Not yet. - He responds excitedly, bouncing up and down, pulling me by the hand toward the couch. Falco gets hyperactive with the Titans games, I note mentally. - Mom went to get our nachos.

Mmm, I remember I've always loved nachos.

He jumps onto the couch and I sit next to him, hugging him. I look at the TV and see some reporters making some comments about the game that is about to start in a few minutes. Falco has his head in my lap and is moving his legs frantically. I can't stop smiling, he really likes basketball.

-I'm home. - Yelena enters the room, she is just as excited as Falco or even more, apparently she has been infected about basketball. I know she likes soccer, another Ian influence in her life as well. I remember because Yelena never enjoyed soccer back in her high school days. Yelena sits with us on the couch on the other side, Falco is between us, he breaks away from me and reaches a hand out to grab a handful of nachos. - Did you wash your hands?

-Uhun - he agrees with his mouth full, and gets a reproachful look from Yelena. She looks so serious acting like a mother. And that arched eyebrow makes her look so sexy.... Pieck, no! I shake my head in order to expel those absurd thoughts. - I'm sorry.

He says after swallowing the nachos he had in his mouth, Yelena smiles and wipes the corner of his mouth that Falco messed up with the nachos and orange sauce. Yelena hands me the round container with nachos and I shake my head and point to the TV, which tells her that I will wait for the game to start and only then will I eat them, she nods and after two long days finally, she smiles at me.

We have a breakthrough.

Should I feel as good as I do now just by her smile?

//

The next few minutes were fun, more for Yelena and Falco than for me, especially my little guy. He also confirmed that he really loves sports, I didn't understand anything, but I have learned some things that Yelena explained to me, or tried to. I'd rather celebrate than try to understand, Yelena seemed happy to see me interact with the two of them,

Her eyes sparkle again.

Yelena smiled at me more.

-SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

Yelena and Falco scream together as the Titans score again, I understood that those 3 points they already had practically won the game. Yelena stands up and grabs Falco, throws him on her shoulder and starts spinning, she laughs and celebrates, waving her hands and feet. A huge smile appears on my face, it's magical to witness this,

I confess, she is a beautiful mother and always tries to please Falco.

-I confess, she is a beautiful mother and always tries to please Falco.

Falco called me and before I could react, Yelena pulls my hand and then my body collides with hers. I think she did it on impulse, she is joyful, because when she realizes what she did and our closeness, she opens her eyes in alarm. I am still with my body rigid.

Suddenly I feel something strange, my vision becomes a little blurry and I feel as if I am floating. The ground seems to disappear for a few seconds and then... I'm transported to some sort of parallel universe.

//

What the fuck is this place?

I look around, I'm still there in the living room, I'm looking for someone, I try to call Yelena or Falco, but my voice doesn't come out, it's stuck in my throat. I put my hands on my neck and squeeze lightly, I turn my face to the side and almost fall down again.

It's me! I'm jumping and celebrating with Yelena and Falco HOW!!!?

I'm with the little one in my right arm, my smile is huge and I hug Yelena's waist, who hugs my back and pulls me closer. At the moment we look like a happy family.

How can I be there if I'm here, what the fuck?

I go into despair, but I try to move my body and it doesn't obey me, my brain doesn't seem to get the command. I'm scared, terrified actually, what's going on, I want to wake up!

-Kiss! Kiss!

I hear Falco shouting and clapping, why does his voice sound thinner? And wait... When did he cut his hair? It was longer now. Yelena's hair seems to be shorter too.

Then Yelena looks at me and smiles, I take her face with my left hand, pull her to me and our lips meet. Falco shakes and shakes his little hands in some kind of celebration. I find myself smiling in the middle of the kiss and sucking on Yelena's bottom lip, she pulls me tighter against her and deepened the kiss.

I press my eyes and try to shake my head in denial.

This is just a dream, this is just a dream, this is just a dream.

Just a dream.

A weird and strange dream.

//

-Pieck! - My body is swayed several times. - Piku!

My eyes open and I feel myself coming back to life, everything is in its place and I no longer feel myself floating. I look around me, my breathing calms down, my chest rises and falls rapidly. I hear my heartbeat in my ears so loud it's pounding.

What the hell happened?

-Are you okay, Mom?

I look at Falco and only then realize that his hair is long again, he's still in Yelena's lap and I'm clutching at her, I pull away quickly and sigh, shaking his hair back and smooth my neck. I'm sweating, my legs are shaking.

-Yes, yes.

I answer quickly, my voice is strange. I feel strange. I feel their gaze on me, but I just don't look back. I don't want to look at them now, I refuse to. I just want to understand what happened.

Was that a dream... or? 

\----


	7. She's my problem

The day went by and sleep, or whatever it was wouldn't leave my head. Yelena went back to ignoring my existence after the game was over, and Falco was too tired to give me attention, he fell asleep on the couch soon after and Yelena had to carry him to his room.

I'm sitting alone, my mind still a mess. It's strange not recognizing myself, supposedly I became a completely different person, supposedly I'm madly in love with the person I didn't even want as a friend, supposedly we're happy. Or we were.

Why does this have to happen? I didn't want to be going through any of this, nor did I deserve to suffer. And isn't pity worth it? I guess it is. Yelena's sad eyes can with me in a way I couldn't before. I don't understand... I feel, I feel strange when she looks at me like she's asking for help, I don't know. It's hard to try to understand her, let alone talk to her. I know I have to talk to her, nobody wants to tell me anything, they say I have to ask my wife directly.

Wife.

That is so scary.

I hear footsteps on the stairs and silently look over my shoulder, she is carving one eye and yawning. As I said before, Yelena looks tired all the time, I wanted to understand why. She finishes walking down the stairs and rests her hands on her lower back, then curves backwards thundering her bones, her blonde hair falls a little over her eyes.

Why am I looking at her so much?

When she looks at me she averts her gaze and I turn forward, I hear her sigh loudly, exhausted. The sound of her bare feet hitting the floor echo in the living room, the house is quiet, you can even hear the sprinklers outside. The silence bothers me.

-Are you not sleepy?

She speaks and I almost jump at her voice, my heart seems to beat faster in my chest. I try to say something, but my voice seems to be caught in my throat. I'm still scared that she caught me looking at her.

I-I-I... Yes. - I sigh, pressing my fingers into the cream-colored lining covering the couch. - I get up.

-You don't need to get up just because I'm here, if you want you can watch TV. - She is serious, but her voice is calm, controlled, I would say even sympathetic. - Tomorrow your sister will be back from her trip. - I look at her curiously, our eyes meet and she catches my curious look. - Annie.

I raise my eyebrows and nod, finally seeing my sister.

That's a bad joke, Pieck.

Bullshit, it's pretty funny actually.

-Where was I?

-Greece.

My eyes widen in surprise. What the hell was that blonde doing in Greece?

-What was she doing there?

Yelena is wearing dark sweatpants, before she sits down next to me she pulls the fabric, then sits on the couch.

-Honeymoon.

She answers simply and smiles sideways. A half smile. But I'm confused wasn't Annie already married?

-I thought she was already married.

  
At least that's what Sasha said. So the giraffe lied to me?

-Oh, no, I mean, yes, she was already married. - Yelena replies with an awkward giggle. - Armin decided to surprise Annie with a trip, they were having their second honeymoon.

She explains and finally, I understand, they were having a second honeymoon. wow! That's pretty romantic. I'm thrilled and happy for my sister, their marriage looks like a fairy tale.

-And my nephews?

My voice sounds totally animated, Yelena let out a nasal laugh noticing my animation, I don't even care, I want to meet them soon.

-Serena and Will? They are with grandparents, your mother's parents.

-In Eldia? - I ask and Yelena nods, my shoulders slump. I wanted to see them. - I wanted to meet them.

Before I lower my head I could see Yelena look at me sadly, it must have been strange for her to hear me say that since she was supposedly tired of seeing my nephews' faces. But I don't know them, even in pictures I can't recognize them.

-They still don't know about? - I looked at that I was gesticulating as if I was looking for words to try to make myself understood. - It will be a shock, especially for Serena, she has always been close to you.

I feel like crying. This all sucks, I feel pain because I can't remember anything. How am I going to look at my nieces and nephews and tell her I have no idea who they are?

How am I going to look at my sister's face and tell her that I don't remember her wedding? I don't know anything else about it, I have no idea what is going on. I don't know their children, I don't know their date of birth or even remember when they were born.

This is all bullshit, I hate this damn amnesia.

I'm so angry and devastated I didn't even realize when I started crying, I cry about everything and I still can't do anything to reverse the situation. Strong arms encircle my body, a smell that is familiar invades my nose, even though Yelena is there, I feel like I have known this fragrance for a long time. Was it some kind of memory?

My hiccups are high, Yelena squeezes me tighter against her body and I take refuge in her arms like a kitten. I needed nothing more than to cry everything I hadn't cried since the fateful day I woke up forgetting everything. With some fear, Yelena lifts me from the couch, carries me and then I am in her arms, I cling to her neck and sink my face against her blouse, I feel her walking with me and just let her carry me.

I don't have the strength to push her away and I don't really want to.

...

I have no idea how long I spent crying, but I know it's been long minutes, I feel exhausted, my eyes are burning, my chest hurts and my nose is stuffed up. Yelena didn't leave my side for a second, after laying me down on the bed, she sat with her back against the headboard and pulled my head to rest it on her thighs. She spent the whole time making love to me, she said nothing, she just stayed there for me.

Even when I rejected her, even though I didn't deserve it. She was there.

I finally realized how amazing she is, but I also realized that I deserve her. I suffer and I may never remember loving her.

This is not going to work, it's not healthy for either of us, our relationship is doomed to fail.

//

It was the first night we slept in the same bed since what happened. Yelena didn't cross the line, and when we cuddled, the one who took the initiative to make it happen was me. She seemed to be afraid of doing something I didn't like. However, I appreciated her respect for me.

When I opened my eyes this morning, I realized that I was no longer in bed. I looked around the room and as usual the closet door was ajar.

She had gone to work.

I think.

Her perfume was all over the room, I inhaled sharply several times before getting up to go to the bathroom. Took a quick shower and noticed a fresh change of clothes on the sink counter. Yelena has this habit of sorting clothes. I think it's some kind of OCD. I get dressed and leave the bathroom, my hair is a little damp and I don't mind feeling that my back is getting a little wet. Everything is quiet, when Falco is not home all is peace. I don't like it, it's so good to see him bouncing around the house.

My son... He inherited my energy, that's why he doesn't stop for a second.

In the kitchen, the table is set, I look at the stove and sigh. Yelena's food is not bad, but I remember that she liked to cook. Could it be that she missed that habit?

I seem to have become lazy, apparently I am supported by Yelena, since she didn't mention that she works, I don't even know what she works at. She basically does everything for me, cleans the house, does the laundry and looks for our son at school.

Did I stand around doing nothing all day like a lady?

I don't think so.

//

After I finish my breakfast, I wash the dishes and put them in the drainer. I stretch quickly, feeling my muscles stretch and let out a groan of satisfaction. The day is sunny, I see the sun reflecting through the windows. I know this house has a pool, because I've seen it, and now I'm going to try it out.

I run to the second floor and go to my room, enter the closet and look in the drawers that Yelena said were mine, for a bikini. I soon find many with different colors and sizes....

-Wow, does this cover something?

I wonder while analyzing the red panties of one of the bikinis, it has a very thin stripe, would I wear it only in the pool at home or in others as well? I don't think so, my face reddens just imagining walking around in one of these tiny bikinis.

I have no shame at all. I'm in shock myself.

I'm home alone anyway, there's no problem wearing one of these bikinis. After I'm properly dressed, I go to the mirror to look at myself and.... Oh my gosh, my jaw drops. I hadn't realized how much my body has changed, big, natural breasts. My legs aren't so skinny, they now had more muscle, my arms have a little muscle too. I turn around and damn! My ass is different, rounder and harder.

I'm fucking hot!I smiled to myself in the mirror.

Do I exercise now? I used to be so sedentary. Just the thought of exercising made me feel exhausted.

//

I sigh, delighted with this huge pool. There's a deck at the end of the backyard and even from a distance I can see the grill and small bar. There is also a table. I take off my slippers and throw my towel on one of the chairs that were there. They seem to be comfortable, but right now, I just want to get in the water. I walk to the pool and stretch my muscles before jumping into the water.

It's so good.

//

Almost an hour later I get out of the water because I'm tired, not to mention I forgot the sunscreen and if I don't get out of the sun now I'm likely to get a sunburn later. I clean myself and wrap the towel around my body so I open the glass door and go inside, I hear the doorbell ring.

  
Who could it be?

Curious, I fasten the towel around me. I reach the door and look through the peephole. There's a man standing there, who could it be? 

I don't dare open the door, I don't know who it is. What if Yelena doesn't like me to attend to a stranger when she's not at home?

Pieck! Stop acting like a teenager.

Even though I don't want to open the door, I unlock it and turn the knob. The guy is dressed like a mailman, he is tall, white as milk and short hair, he also has light brown eyes, very light. He smiles at me and looks me up and down and I pull the towel tighter against my body.

Just what I needed, apart from losing my memory I will be attacked by a maniacal mailman. I must have a magnet for psychotics.

-Hello love. - He says trying to sound seductive. Love? What are you talking about, asshole? - Aren't you gonna let me in? I miss that body.

I widen my eyes and take a step back when he steps forward, I almost fall because the floor is wet, thanks to me. I look terrified at the crazy mailman, supposedly this crazy mailman is my lover?

Oh my God, this can't be true! I've always been a good person, I've never cheated in my life.

-Get out of here, you madman!

I yell at him and turn to run away, he is faster and grabs my waist tightly. I swallow dryly and close my eyes. I couldn't possibly betray Yelena, not after agreeing to marry her and have a child with her. I can't be that horrible at that point.

-Is this how it's going to be today?

He whispers in my ear in a lewd tone, I feel my stomach churn and I think I'm going to faint. I was about to respond and give him a shove when a laugh, a well known laugh rang through the house. The madman lets go of me and I open my eyes, spinning on my heels to see a madwoman rolling, literally, rolling on the floor from laughter.

I'm speechless, what the fuck happened here?

-My-my-My G-God!

Sasha was laughing so hard she can't even speak, I still don't understand this whole circus. I look at the guy dressed as a mailman and he makes a surrender sign for me, as if to say he is innocent. Once again I look at the stupid girl laughing her ass off on the living room floor and clench my jaw.

-What the fuck, Sasha?!

I demand almost seething, here I am terrified and disgusted with myself for supposedly having a lover and this idiot is laughing like she heard the best joke in the world.

-Pieckie, Pieck, you should have seen your face.

She's still laughing, but with less intensity. The idiot I call best friend gets up and pulls something out of her pocket, a brown purse, opens it and pulls out a hundred dollar bill, hands it to the crazy asshole and says something in his ear, the crazy guy waves at me and then walks out of my house, closing the door. I look at Sasha who also looks at me, her face starts to redden and then she laughs again.

-I'm going. A. Kill you!

I say through gritted teeth and walking towards her, Sasha starts to run away from me, but she doesn't stop laughing, not even for a second.

//

Minutes later I give up trying to catch her, she's faster than me and bigger too.

  
-Oh, don't be in a bad mood. - She sits down next to me and tries to hug me, but I dodge her hug and push her away. - It was funny, admit it.

-I don't see the fucking fun in that, you idiot! - I almost scream and my nerves are on edge, why does the idea of betraying Yelena bother me so much? - I was cursing myself for thinking I had become a heartless whore.

I sigh, running my hands through my wet hair and lay it over my left shoulder. I adjust the towel that almost fell off and shake my head several times. I hear Sasha sigh and wail. At least he knows he was wrong.

-That would have been funny if your memory was right. - Her voice is sad, I turn to her, who is clenching her hand against the other and staring awkwardly at me. - I'm sorry, but it was so funny when we used to tease each other.

-All right, Sha, I... - I'm not sure what to say and let out a grunt, I go to her and run my hand through her hair, Sasha smiled. - I'll give it back to you.

I warn her and grin mischievously, Sasha's smile widens and she pulls me into her lap. I let out a startled squeal falling into her lap anyway, the towel up to my hip and my wet hair is covering my forehead.

-That's my girl.

She smacks my ass and I jump in surprise, finally laughing. You can't stay mad at this woman for too long, it's easy to love her.

-Are you hungry?

I ask and she helps me up, I adjust the towel around my body keep my hair in any shape on top of my head. To untangle that later God will have to help me, it must be a bird's nest. Sasha also stands up and pulls down her skirt that had ridden up slightly.

-You still ask? Come on, I miss your food.

-Do I still like to cook?

I ask curiously as we move into the kitchen, I go to the fridge and Sasha sits on one of the counter chairs.

-Obviously, yes, it's your second biggest passion.

I open the refrigerator door and look at her with an arched eyebrow.

-What's your first?

-Falco. - She answers and I smile openly. - And Yelena.

Complete and my smile dies instantly, my happy face changes to a normal one in a matter of seconds, I turn to look at the fridge and look for some ingredients to make something I like. Great, I know what I'll make.

-Do you want grilled steak?

-She has wine, I can't.

I frown and look at her through the small space between the refrigerator and the freezer, Sasha has an amused grimace on her face, but she smiles sheepishly.

-You always liked wine, don't you like it anymore? - She shakes her head and presses her lips together, I take the steak out of the freezer and close the two open doors. - Is there anyone who wants to tell me?

-Yes!" she exclaims and taps her fingers against the table, I place the tenderloin in the sink and then turn to look at her. - I was going to tell everyone at the same time, but you're my best friend, so you deserve to know first. - I think I know what it is. - I'm pregnant!

She smiles hugely and dropped her jaw, eyes sparkling and I'm still transfixed. Sasha is pregnant. Oh. Me. Oh, God.

-You. - I close my mouth and make some strange hand movements in search of words, but nothing comes out. - Sashaa! I'm going to have a new nephew.

  
I walk over to her, Sasha pushes the chair over and stands up, opens her arms and sinks me into her breasts. We're smiling and bouncing, we look like two little girls. Did she react like that too when she found out about my pregnancy?

She probably did.

-I'm so happy.

-I can tell, your skin looks more beautiful.

We let go of each other and she looks at her, her eyes are a little teary and I think it's because of her great happiness. I caress her arms and rock her back and forth.

-But this must be our secret, no one knows yet, not even Niccolo.

I let go and raise my hands, cross my fingers and kiss them, she smiles and does the same. We used to do that when we were younger, it meant secrets and that we couldn't break that promise. After celebrating a lot, Sasha practically forced me to go make lunch early because she said my nephew was hungry.

Blackmailing bitch, not even trained.

But I comply with her request, and then go get spices for the meat. I opt for the traditional meat with butter and onions, even accompanied by fries and white rice. As I have already put the meat in water to thaw it, Sasha and I were talking about various topics. I asked several questions about my life with Yelena and about myself, but she always interrupted me and said that I should ask my wife.

Idiot, asshole. Lousy best friend I have.

But at least she warned me that Yelena and Falco would be a little late today because Yelena has volleyball game every Friday with Ymir, her best friend and some friends from work What work? Sasha didn't tell me either.

//

After lunch Sasha offered to do the dishes, at least that much. I sat listening to her talk about how perfect Niccolo is.

It's funny to hear her refer to him as her husband because in my mind I kept seeing teenage Sasha drooling liters for stupid Stein's brother. And now here she was in front of me, Sasha being all woman married to her high school platonic love.

Life is fun, isn't it?

-Niccolo is crazy about having a kid. I'm expecting one this time around. 

I laughed, Sasha's animated gesture talking about her marriage is a cute thing to see.

-Hopefully he will be, he'll be so happy.

She finishes washing the dishes and puts them in the drainer, picks up the dish towel and dries her hands. She turns to me and walks in my direction, pulls up a chair and sits down at the table with me.

-Yes, sure. - He wipes his lips with the tip of his tongue and gives me a strange look. - You know who would be happy to have a daughter?

-Oh no.

I already have an idea of what he was going to say and I'm honestly not ready to hear it.

-Oh yes, his beautiful and wonderful little wife. - I make a fake grimace of disgust, not so fake and Sasha laughs. - A few weeks ago you'd be prancing around and researching insemination clinics. - I roll my eyes and click my tongue. - Pieckie says something to me. - He rests his elbows on the table and leans in slightly, looking me in the eye. - Have you two had sex? I mean, after everything that's happened? Already?

My face flushes, scenes and memories of the video I saw three days ago invade my mind. I die of embarrassment and choke on my saliva, I start coughing desperately while meanwhile the idiot almost dies laughing at me.

  
-... You were embarrassed, or you've had sex or you remembered something.

-It's none of your business. - I growl but she doesn't care about my rude tone. - And we haven't had sex, gross.

I make my best disgusted face, Sasha throws her head back and laughs out loud. I snort and lean back in my chair, crossing my arms under my breasts.

-Disgust? - He looks at me again and wipes the corners of his eyes. - I should be the one to say that. He didn't think it was disgusting when you were telling me how wonderful Yelena is in bed and I had to listen to you call her a sex goddess.

-Are you playing games? - She smiles and shakes her head, I jump in my chair in exasperation. - Sex goddess? Yelena?

-Same. - Sasha gets up too, I hear the chair being dragged, but I'm too busy freaking out. - Pieckie you may not believe it now, but you're completely crazy...

-You're crazy! - I interrupt her before she talks any more nonsense, I refuse to listen to her say one more time that I'm crazy about Yelena. I am mad but mad with anger. - It's forbidden to say or play with such a thing, okay? So much for my head, and the last thing I want to know is that I'm supposed to be in love with strupy.

I look at her seriously, who makes a sign of surrender and nods. I'm so angry now that I throw the towel off my body and walk out of the kitchen with a firm step.

After a long bath, I get dressed in refreshing clothes and go downstairs to apologize to Sasha. It has nothing to do with that, it's not her fault that my mind is flawed. She takes it all in stride, says she understands me, even though I clearly noticed how upset she was. I'm wrong, I didn't mean to hurt her.

Now we are fine again. I'm lying on the couch with my head in her lap. We are watching some reality show, Sasha said it was one of my favorites. It's funny. The show stops and the commercials start.

-It's not that bad.

I comment sitting down on the couch and stretch my muscles, I look at Sasha and she nods her head, thundering her neck and yawning.

-It's funny. - She scratches her head and looks at me. - Pieckie, I think I'm going home, I'm feeling so tired lately and Kaya will be home from school soon, I have to be home to greet her.

Her tone is guilty so I smile to reassure her, it wouldn't be fair to keep her with me for no apparent reason.

-It's all right. - I assure her and she is fine. - I walk you to the door.

She agrees and holds out her right hand for me. We interlace our fingers and walk together to the door.

-I ask Yelena tomorrow to take you home so you can see Keya. - I pout and she rolls her eyes. - Don't make those faces, try to get along with her.

-I don't want to get along with her.

Sasha snorts impatiently and holds me by the shoulders, looks straight into my eyes, so firmly that I feel a shiver go down my spine. 

-Stop being like that, you're not in high school anymore. Yelena is an amazing woman, let yourself see it.

//

I'm home alone again, but not for long, it's getting dark, Yelena will probably be here with Falco soon. Annie comes to visit me, we were talking on the phone for 2 hours, 1 and a half was just complaining about me.

  
Annie is still as cold as before.

I would probably act the same way with her. 

I can't deal with this TV, things are so different from what I remember. Everything is different.

Literally.

I hear the doorbell ring, I smile wide because I know who's there. I jump up from the couch, tug my shorts down and walk quickly to the door, I barely turn the knob and am pushed back roughly by a small body.

-Oh Christ!

I exclaim startled by its sudden invasion and surprised that it is still the same size. It's been thirteen years and Annie hasn't changed.

-Sis.

She mumbles against my chest and I feel my eyes fill with tears, it was too good to have my sister with me, she would be a person to help me through all of this. I finally look at her but I can only see the top of her head. Her hair isn't brown, it's blonde now. Annie moves her head away from my chest and looks up. I smile and kiss her forehead. Her face is different too, her features more pronounced and her cheeks a little bigger.

-My God, what great affection, Pieck.

I squeeze her in my arms and she sobs into my neck, I pull her inside and close the door. With her still clinging to me, I walk to the couch and sit down, pulling her to sit next to me and continue to hug me.

A few minutes later she finally calms down and asks if what Armin told her was true, she told me that Yelena had called Armin and told him what happened, she said it was early. I felt bad for disturbing their second honeymoon, they should be having fun, I tell her what has happened in the last few days since I lost my memory, I also told her that I have an appointment on Tuesday with Dr. Zeke. Annie cried when I confessed that I didn't remember anything, not even my nieces and nephews, not even my wedding, let alone having had Falco.

I wanted to remember what it was like to have him in my belly, how the people around me praised me and were encouraged by his arrival. I wanted to remember even the possible labor pains, I would feel them no problem if it would make me have my memory back. I wanted to know how I felt when I held him in my arms for the first time, when he said his first word and when he learned to walk.

I wanted to remember all those moments I missed without knowing, I wanted to remember my life.

My new life.

//

A little later I decided to change the subject because I was tired of regretting and crying about what happened, and that I also didn't want to see Annie suffer because of me. We were always close, since we were young, Zofi was also close to us, but because we are older, Annie and I always walked together. We even showered together and ate from the same plate when we were little and young, because we are still little.

Although she is smaller than me.

-... They are amazing, especially Serena, she is completely in love with you.

Annie said and smiled at me, she showed me some pictures of my nieces, Sasha, Falco and me. Sasha wasn't playing when she said Serena liked her.

-I'm really looking forward to seeing them, I always dreamed of having nieces and nephews and now I have three.

Yes, three. After all, Sasha's daughter is also my niece because I have always considered her a sister.

-I know, when Serena was born you were happier than Armin.

-Really?

Annie agrees laughing and I end up laughing too.

-Seriously, everyone joked that Serena was born from me, but you were the real mother.

We laughed and kept talking, Annie was also vague when I asked her about my life with Yelena. Everyone forces me to have to talk to her.

And I don't want to.

I had lost track of time, Annie told me about the lives of our former classmates. Many have done well in life, a few work in supermarkets or are involved in the wrong things. Too bad. I was tempted to ask her about Hange, but I know she'd probably reprimand me.

-... You had to have seen it all turn out to be a pie war after that.

Annie was telling me about William's first anniversary, she said he got his hands in the cake and then started banging his little hands around messing up the table and the people around him. I couldn't wait to remember that. The sound of a car being parked gets our attention, Annie looks towards the door and I do the same, about 2 minutes later the door opens and in walks a bouncing Falco.

-Today has been the best game ever.

He speaks loudly, excited. I smile at the happy sight of him, then she comes in too.... Holy shit! My eyes almost pop out of my face, Yelena is....

Where have the words gone?

She is dressed in a tight white uniform, short shorts clinging to her body, possibly damp from sweat, the shirt is also clinging to her body marking her voluminous breasts, her hair clinging to her forehead and she has a white headband on her head. My jaw drops.

Jeez, since when did she become so attractive?

It's not that she was ugly before, but.... Her body is completely different, Yelena is much more feminine. I swallow dryly, she smiles at Falco and the two of them play with their hands, doing the same thing with their fingers as they always do. Yelena carries the bag on her shoulder and closes the door, tossing the bag in the corner. Falco looks over to the couch where I'm with Annie and I know he yelled something because I saw his mouth move, but I'm too busy appreciating that sexy being.

What's my problem?

She's my problem!

\----

N/T: Weekend marathon starts, remember it's two per day ;) sorry if there are mistakes.


	8. Wishes

Pieck POV.

You know that feeling of being asleep, but still feeling everything that's going on around you?

Why am I feeling it.

I hear voices and feel my body moving, jumping, is it the effect of some drug? I open my eyes in fright, the possibility of having been drugged was high, as my life took a sinister turn.

-Mommy!

A little cry and then a weight falls on top of me. I know that voice, and I recognize that baby smell. I used to hate being woken up by screaming and jumping on top of me. But now I'm smiling, it's him, the little charmer who fills me with joy without even trying. I can't explain it, but it seems like every new day a greater feeling grows inside me, I love him, I know I do, I feel it. Annie said it's my maternal instinct, although I don't remember things I recognize that he is my son.

That may be true.

-Good morning to you too, Fal. 

I finally open my eyes fully and look down, he is resting on my stomach and my knees by my hips. He smiles when he saw me awake and comes over to me.

-Good morning, Mom.

-Falco, come here! - Yelena looks angry, Falco's body tenses on me and seconds later the door bursts open. Yes, she looks very angry judging by her red face. - Why did you run away, young man? I told you not to wake your mother.

She scolds him and hides her face in the hollow of my neck, I feel sorry for him, Yelena is scary when she talks like that. I caress the small of her back and kiss her hair.

-But today is the day to dance in the rain.

He speaks muffled because his mouth is pressed on my neck, I look curiously at Yelena, he puts his hands on his face and shakes his head.

-Day of what?

I ask her confused, would that be some kind of code or program in the family?

-Dancing in the rain day. - Yelena answers and pulls me and Falco closer. She pulls Falco by his waist and tries to hold on to me. I think about keeping him and letting him stay here, but he laughs and makes me think he's liking it. Yelena picks up and I look at him, only then I realize he is wearing only cartoon underwear. -You little mister are going to take your bath, and then we'll talk about disobedience.

-There is no need to fight with him, he is just a child.

I speak without thinking and Yelena gives me a look that makes me want to go away from there at that moment. She holds the serious look for a few seconds without saying anything as she places Falco on the floor, he winks at me and then runs out of the room. 

-He's a boy, yes Pieck, but he has to know he can't disobey us. So don't scold me in front of him, because he's going to think what he's doing is okay and will do it every time, unless you want a spoiled child who will talk back to you.

She is quite serious, with her arms crossed under her breasts. I feel like a child when her father scolds her. Yelena manages to scare people when she gets like this.

-Sorry.

She sighs and her expression softens, biting her lip and then quickly shakes her head.

-It's okay, you're trying to adjust to all of this. - Now she speaks sympathetically and more calmly, I almost sigh in relief. Bossy Yelena is too scary. - Besides it would be good for the maid to get up and take a bath or we'll be late.

I open my mouth to ask where we're going, but Yelena is quicker and leaves the room. I snort in frustration and slap my hands on the mattress.

Great, now I'm going I don't know where with the crazy lady and the cute little guy.

At least he's going, we can be together all the time.

But wait... What clothes should I wear?

I get out of bed and start to leave the room, but stop when I see a change of clothes on the end of the bed. Yelena and her craziness of picking out my clothes. Without even checking the clothes, I go to the bathroom. I need a long hot shower to relax and get ready for today.

After I get out of the shower, I towel off and pick up the clothes Yelena picked out, looking at the underwear first. I still think it's embarrassing that she picks out my underwear. I need to talk to her about it as soon as possible. I'm surprised to see a small white shirt and sweatpants. 

Am I going to work out?

-Pieck? Are you ready? - The bathroom opens and Yelena is looking me up and down. - What happened?

I take a deep breath and look at the clothes in my hands, show them to her and question her.

-Where are we going? Why do I have to wear these? Are we going to train or something?

Yelena grimaces and looks at me as if I have said the most idiotic thing in the world. Her eyes widen and suddenly her face softens, she tilts her head back and mumbles something.

-Sometimes I forget that you don't remember anything. - He twists his mouth and sighs, distracted and focuses his gaze on my legs. My face heats up when I realize I'm half naked in front of her. - I'll take you to meet the other part of your life.

-Mom!

She looks at the door and makes a hand signal, Falco should have been waiting for her.

-You better get dressed quickly before she gets desperate.

She says and walks out of the bathroom, I sigh and lean against the wall. I have no idea where we're going, but I get dressed in what she picked out. Just thinking about getting some exercise makes me feel exhausted.

No one deserves it.

//

I finish getting dressed and look at myself in the mirror. Even these clothes make me hot. I spin around and smile at my reflection. My hair is stuck in a ponytail, I'm wearing comfortable tennis shoes. I'm not wearing makeup, I don't remember if I used to, although I probably did, but in my head I only know to wear eyeliner with risk from time to time. But I have no idea where things are in this house. I'm in the shit.

-Wow! - I jump at the sound of a voice, look back and find Yelena standing in the closet doorway, looking me up and down. stop! - I like you even without makeup.

I think Yelena said it on impulse because she pursed her lips and looked down awkwardly, my face flushes. I never knew how to respond to compliments, I always start blushing or laugh like crazy.

-I look like an old lady.

I say trying to break the strange atmosphere there and turn to the mirror again, through it I see Yelena raise her face and look at me. Her eyes look clear and luminous, she gives a small smile and shakes her head.

  
-Then you are the most beautiful young old woman I have ever seen.

She says and before I can turn around and refute, my vision becomes cloudy and I secure the edges of the mirror so I don't fall to the floor. Yelena holds my waist and leans me against her body, that phrase echoes in my mind again and I feel myself being pulled into some sort of parallel universe.

Not again!

I look around and I know I'm in the same place, I recognize the closet. But it's not empty, I look around and hear the door, so, yeah, I run through the place and then Yelena does too. I step back and watch the scene, it's weird. I feel like a viewer at a demonstration.

-I've told you a thousand times that you look beautiful without makeup, I don't know why you're so paranoid about this, love.

Yelena says and I cross my arms, leaning her shoulder against the wall and looking at me, I'm in front of the mirror seeing something on my face. I turn to her and snort, I feel like laughing. It's funny to see me angry.

-You're just saying that to make me feel good, I look awful without makeup, stop lying. - Yelena shakes her head and I tap my left foot on the floor, frowning, am I really like that when I'm being stubborn? - I look old, look at the circles under my eyes.

I complete and turn to look in the mirror, Yelena uncrosses her arms and slaps twice in the air, pretending she's slapping my ass. That shameless, doing this kind of thing behind my back!

She comes up to me and grabs me by the waist, I move closer to them to see and hear better. I see that I'm still with annoyed, Yelena smiles at me through the mirror and my face softens. She arranges my hair over my left shoulder and gives me a simple kiss on my neck and another on the curve of my shoulder and neck. I close my eyes and sigh.

-You are beautiful. - Another kiss. - Wonderful. - One more. - Without makeup you look even more beautiful and if you think you are old, then you are the most beautiful young old woman I have ever seen.

Everything is dark and I feel a pressure in my body, I hear Yelena's voice and I open my eyes. I am in her arms, she looks at me terrified and says something I don't understand. I shake my head and let her help me stand up properly.

-Is everything all right? Do you feel anything?

-No, I just... - I stroke my neck and take a deep breath. This is scary. - It's all right.

I lie and smile at her, Yelena sighs in relief and steps back. I feel safer with her away, her presence making me even more nervous. I'm about to say something when a little boy comes in and starts talking and jumping up and down.

-Come on mom, I want to go.

Falco almost begs and pulls us out of the closet. I look at Yelena who just laughs and lets the little guy pull her. Before we get to the stairs, Yelena puts Falco on her shoulder making him let go of my hand. I just look at her and smile. They are laughing at each other. An involuntary smile appears on my face.

-To infinity...

-And beyond!

They scream together and then Yelena runs down the stairs, my heart almost stops and I want to scold her for doing that, but I keep quiet. Even though I want to slap her, doesn't she know how dangerous that is?

Crazy.

-Mommy, your coat!

Falco comes over to me and hands me a thick black coat. I smile at him and take it. I put it on and he goes to Yelena for help. I close the coat and fix my hair, Yelena is also wearing a coat but it's green. Falco a black beanie and a Marley's Titans jacket, I let out a loose nasal chuckle, he's a fan, even for basketball. There's a black beanie on the table, but I'm looking at the white one Yelena wears, it's beautiful and I like it. I love beanies.

  
-I'll take this one.

I walk over to her and take the beanie from her head. She looks at me with her mouth open and I smile at her before putting it on. She shakes her head smiling before taking the black beanie that is supposed to be mine and puts it on.

-Shall we go?

She calls out to us and I nod, she doesn't need to call Falco twice, he small opens the door and runs out. I am too curious to know where we are going and why my little one is so lively. It's cold outside, the breeze hitting my body makes me shiver a little.

-Yelena. - I call out to her and she looks at me after unlocking the car for Falco to get in. - Is the place we're going to so cool that he's this excited?

I point to the car where Falco is sitting in the driver's seat and playing incessantly, Yelena laughs and points to the little guy to wait. I've never seen him like this, except when the basketball game.

-He's great, yes, but he's animated by something else.

I don't like the smile he's got. Why are you smiling like that, stupid?

-What is it?

I ask intrigued, Yelena moistens her red-painted lips and puts her hands in her coat pockets.

-You'll see.

I blink and then she walks to the car, I continue to stand there in the middle with a thousand questions. I'm sorry I won't like it, my sixth sense is warning me.

Now...

//

Yelena stops in front of a tall building, I look at it blankly and then look back outside. It has a license plate on top, but I can't quite read it. The car moves and Yelena goes to a white iron gate, it opens and I see a parking lot, there are a couple of cars parked there.

-Yelena, where are we?

-You will know now.

I roll my eyes and bang my back on the passenger seat, Falco is more excited than before. I look back and see him anxiously almost glued to the glass, he jumps on the seat and implores Yelena to stop and open the door.

-Before you get out, little guy. - Yelena says after parking the car by unfastening her seat belt and I do the same. Falco stops bouncing on the seat and pays attention to her. - No running over there, okay? Don't forget what we talked about last week.

-I promise you, Mom. I won't go to the second floor.

I look at Yelena, she turns her body and smiles for Falco, raises her hand and does the same finger touch with Falco. She releases the little guy's belt and returns to her starting position, opens the door and in a matter of seconds Falco opens the door, jumps out of the car and runs off to that place that I have no idea where it is, and more importantly, what place it is.

-Shall we go?

Yelena calls me and smiles before opening the door, I get out of the car and it takes me a few seconds to react. The cool breeze blows against my body again, I adjust the beanie on my head and close the door and then put my hands in my coat pockets. The weather is fine for spending the day under the covers eating junk and watching cartoons.

-Yes, I think so....

I say vaguely and Yelena just smiles to the side, gesturing for me to follow her and walk ahead as I enter the place to start looking around. It has a large living room, balcony, near the front door at the front and waiting benches. I turn around looking for Yelena and am almost startled because she is so close to me.

  
-Miss Stein, I'm glad you're feeling better.

A brunette stops in front of Yelena and I, she smiles kindly at me, I look back just to check if it is for me and come to the conclusion that yes, she is talking to me. Miss Stein, is she serious?

-I...

-... Hi, Frieda, she's still not quite right, she's still a little confused. - Yelena interrupts and steps in front, I almost sigh in relief, the way she called me still makes me uncomfortable. - I brought her today just to see the place. - The brunette frowns and Yelena mumbles something to her, her expression goes from confused to sad and she looks at me with pity? What? - Come Piku.

Yelena calls me and without saying goodbye to this Frieda, I pass her and accompany Yelena. On the way she tells me some things, commenting that there are several kinds of different types of arts.

-Is this like a school?

I ask curiously when Yelena is silent for a few minutes, we stop in front of a large glass door. Inside some children are running, jumping and dancing.

-It's a cultural center.

She answers and I unintentionally crack a huge smile. I remember that since I was little I dreamed of having one, I am happy that Yelena brought me. Our Saturday plans is to visit this cultural center? I hope so, I wouldn't mind getting up early every Saturday.

-What the fuck. - I comment and when I realize it I cover my mouth, I look around to see if there are no kids, fortunately no. Yelena laughs. - Whose is this?

I ask really interested, Yelena presses her hands on the door and looks at me smiling- -What do you mean?

-What do you mean? - She pushes the door and enters the room. - It's yours.

She points to a wall and I follow her gaze, my eyes not believing what they see written on the board "Finger-Stein School of Arts."

My jaw drops and hesitantly I enter inside the room with Yelena, the children here are busy with her presence and some were running towards her. My eyes are wet, this place is mine, I have managed to make one of my teenage dreams come true. I am in disbelief, I try to assimilate that it is true. I look around me, still half in awe, I feel someone tugging on my jacket.

-Professor Pieck.

There is a little girl standing next to me, her brown eyes sparkle as she greets me, I give her a smile and gently stroke her face.

-Hello cutie.

I tell her and she sends me a kiss into the air before turning and running to Yelena, who is now lying on the floor, as she is being attacked by tickling by the little ones. It's impossible not to laugh at that image, Yelena seems to get along with the kids instantly, now I know why she's a great mother. Apparently. Two children come towards me and take my hand, they also called me Professor Pieck and encouraged me to join them in the tickle "war" with Yelena.

Why not?

I concurred with them and went running to where Yelena was, got in the best way I could between the children and then started to attack Yelena with tickling.

//

After the tickle session on Yelena, she managed to escape and get to her feet and started running after the children. I couldn't stop laughing, Yelena was very spontaneous. She looks like someone else looking at her like that, someone nice and bearable.

But she is someone else, Pieck Finger. I know she's not the same overbearing jerk from high school anymore, but it's so strange to see this responsible adult Yelena when I can only remember her as a stupid, reckless teenager.

How weird is this?

-Yelena. - I walk over to her, who is sitting near the door with her hands resting on the floor and her head up as she catches her breath. She looks at me and wiggles her eyebrows. - Where is Fal?

I ask her and she looks around, finding no sign of him. I feel a little nostalgic, for since we have been here he has disappeared. Yelena is sitting up properly, reaches back and clears her throat.

-She must be in the art room with Gaby.

-Who is that? 

Yelena smiles with her lips almost closed and looks at me suspiciously. She uses her knees for support and braces herself, still crouched on the floor staring up at him.

-Come on, let me introduce you to her.

She extends her hands towards me and helps me to my feet, Yelena stops me and steps back a little, but there is still her hand on her waist, I smile shyly and gently remove her hand from me, she twists her mouth and sighs, looking away. She says goodbye to the children who wail and implore me to come back later, I smile for them nodding quickly before following Yelena.

We pass a few rooms that had their doors closed, only the one at the end of the hallway is open. Yelena stands in front of it and points with her head, I nod and enter the room with her. There are more children here, but also adults, three women, are they helping the little ones to draw? At least it looks that way.

-Where is it?

Yelena looks for it and when she finds it, she looks at me and discreetly points to the end of the room. I move to her side to get a better view of my little one next to a little brown girl. They smile and doodle together on a single sheet of paper. I frown, not liking this. I mean... Did he really run to get in, without saying anything, just to be with this little girl? Really!!!?

-Unbelievable. - Yelena's voice and laughter makes me stop looking at them to look at her. She is smiling and shaking her head. I raise my eyebrow curiously. - Despite not remembering anything, you still look at Gaby the same way.

-What do you mean? - I ask on impulse.

-With that "Stay away from my boy you little usurper" look Jealous as ever.

He continued laughing. I'm not looking at her like that, I just want to understand what's so special about this girl that she would run away from her mothers to be here with her. Zeus! I'm jealous of a little girl.

But fuck it, he's my son, okay? Is it bad that I want his attention for myself?

-I'm not jealous, I just wanted him to stay with us.

I grumble and Yelena ends up laughing too loudly drawing the attention of the teachers and students. They look at us and I blush awkwardly with so many people looking at me. A woman stands up all smiling, too much, and walks towards us.

-Miss Stein. - She greets me and holds out her hand, with my jaw clenched I return her greeting, smiling awkwardly. - Yelena.

And she smiles even bigger as she looks at.... Wait! Yelena? Why am I "Miss Stein" and she's just Yelena?!?

I am outraged, I look at Yelena who looks like a human statue. She looks at me and smiles, I narrow my eyes and she looks away.

-Hello, Professor Nanaba.

I wanted to ask why everyone called me Miss Stein in this place, I don't want to be linked with that last name, even though it's probably my last name now. I mean, it has to be right? As far as I know, Yelena and I got married in every possible way.

-Mommy. - Falco grabs my right leg and I smile automatically, look down into his bright gray eyes. - Shall we go dancing in the rain?

-What?

-Oh, no son, now your mother won't be able to dance in the rain. - I look at Yelena uncomprehendingly and she whispers that she will explain it to me later. I hope she explains everything to me. - Shall we have something to eat?

-Yes!

He screams and releases me, soon after he runs to Yelena, who bends down and carries him. Falco grabs his neck and has his legs around Yelena's body, he smiled at the image. I used to give that koala hug to my parents when I was little.

-Are you hungry?

-Very.

I confess and Yelena smiles, calls me and we leave that room together. But when we are in the hallway, Yelena asks me to wait and enters the room again, only to return seconds later with that little girl who steals my son. I glare at her, she shrugs and points at Falco who is again all animated by Gaby's presence.

I don't deserve this.

//

After we have something to eat, Yelena returns Gaby back to the art room and tells me we can go. I didn't want to leave now, I still wanted to get to know the other floor, to know who worked there and those who study there. I am very happy and excited to know that this place is mine.

-He sleeps a lot, doesn't he?

We are inside the car, I finish putting on my seat belt and Yelena does the same.

-Sleep yes, just like you.

She said smiling and starts the car. I smile and continue to look at the little boy in the back seat. His features are relaxed and he has a smile on his face.

-Yelena, what is that girl?

-Gaby? - I murmur in agreement. - She's a friend of Fal's.

-They're very close.

I grumble crossing my arms, Yelena laughs and clicks her tongue afterwards. We're on the road, she looked at the people freezing to death through the window.

-They're children, Piku.

-So what? - I turn to her again. Yelena concentrates on the road, but still laughing. - She leaves us to go with her.

-She always does, ever since she started talking to Gaby.

She shrugs as if it's no big deal, how could she be so calm?

-You don't understand.

I shrink back in the seat with a huge pout on my lips, Yelena stops at a traffic light and turns to the side to look at me.

-I do understand, you're jealous. - She concludes with conviction and I roll my eyes. - But relax Piku, they're just kids and they're friends. It's not like he's going to run away with her to China and get away from you.

He plays and I end up letting out a giggle. I think maybe I'm overreacting, my body relaxes and I feel good in the seat. But something bothers me. I scratch my neck nervously, smooth out the region and look at Yelena who is focused on the road.

-Do you think that when he grows up he will get a girlfriend and run away to another country?

Yelena looks at me, twice, three times trying to confirm if I am serious. And she is serious.

-Pieck... For God's sake, she's only five years old.

Again I look at the window and cross my arms. So what if he's young? How do I know that in the future he won't run away to another country and stay away from me?

I don't want to be away from my little boy.

//

We get home and Yelena goes to put Falco to his bed, I sit on the couch to wait for her. I know we need to talk, and I want to do it before the consultation on Tuesday. Minutes later I hear Yelena coming down the stairs, I put my legs on the couch and she throws something at me. It's a blanket. I was cold.

-Do you want to talk to me?

She utters and sits down next to me, I open the blanket and put it on my legs, I settle on the sofa and sit in front of her, with my back leaning on the arm of the sofa.

-I want to ask you a few questions.

-Okay.

She agrees and sits the same way I do, but instead of stretching her legs out she just crosses them sitting Indian style. I take a deep breath as I think I will ask her.

-What do you do for a living?

She seems surprised by my question, I can keep my expression calm. Yelena fixes her beanie and the sleeves of her black sweater and moistens her lips.

-I have a photo studio.

I'm surprised by her answer, well I already knew she liked photographs, in fact, everyone at school knew it since she was living it up with her polaroid at school. Yelena likes to photograph landscapes and distracted people. I used to be one of her targets and would get annoyed at the time.

-Really?

-Very much so.

I press my lips, knowing her love for photography I never imagined she would grow up and open a studio, her parents always wanted her and Niccolo to follow in her footsteps and become lawyers.

-I swore you were a lawyer.

I confess and she lets out a nasal laugh.

-No, only Niccolo followed in our parents' footsteps.

She shrugs and smiles sideways. I wanted to ask her about her parents, she never talks about them and I also remember how close she was to them when she was young. I just shut up, I'll leave it for another time to ask.

-Do we make enough money to have this house and the cars in the garage?

-We earn well, yes. - She squirms on the couch and looks away. - However, our income doesn't just come from our jobs.

Oh my God! I knew she was involved with something bad.

-What else?

I can't help but stammer, Yelena looks at me confused at my reaction and certainly notices how nervous I am.

-Do you feel something? - I shake my head and she keeps looking at me, not taking my word for it. - I have some rental houses in Eldia and Kiosks on the beach as well. And beyond your salary you also receive an income from your parents' company, just like Annie and Zofia.

-Oh...

Is the only thing that comes out of my mouth. Yelena still looking at me and waiting for me to ask something else, but I can't think of anything else at the moment.

-Is that all?

-No, I... You said I have art school, right? - She nods. - I'm just the owner or...

-You also teach dance classes.

-Really?

-Yes. -She agrees and I smile. Okay, I'm a small businesswoman and a dance teacher too. - You are a great dancer.

She completes and I can't help but smile proudly. Not counting a few things, my life seems to be great. I still want to know more about me, about my routine and about her?

-Have you ever seen me dance?

My cheeks heat up because I actually thought something else with that question, I wonder if I have danced for her. Yelena lowers her gaze and smiled in the same way as in the video from a few days ago.... Oh no!

-Quite a lot. - I shrug my legs, I'm embarrassed. - By the way I like your flexibility.

-What?

I only ask to confirm if she said what I think she said. Yelena's eyes widen, I think she said it on impulse since she's uncomfortable.

-Nothing, nothing... Do you want to watch a movie?

//

The weekend passed quickly, the three of us stayed in bed watching cartoons and eating various things. I don't know if it's good for Falco to eat so much junk food, but Yelena didn't seem worried, even though he's a bit irresponsible. She always takes him out to eat after school. I know because she tells me so.

Monday was even more boring, Yelena and Falco spend all day out more or less during the week, and according to Yelena my week is nothing special. She says I like to go to the cultural center and spend the day there or visit any of our friends. Basically: I don't do anything. I mean, I work on Wednesdays and Saturdays, when I usually teach, as well as Yelena informs me. I confess I was a little disappointed with myself, I never thought I would be more active in my life, but at least some of my dreams came true.

November 15, 2014.

We woke up early this time, I was the first one to get up and prepare breakfast. I'm nervous, but not as nervous as Yelena, she looks like she's about to explode at any moment. She's not even going to work today, but I already knew that, she wants to know what the exams will say and if I will remember anything.

-Shall we go? It's time.

Yelena appears in the kitchen, where I'm finishing drying the dirty dishes and I just shake my head and dry my hands on the dish towel. I turn to Yelena who is with one shoulder leaning against the kitchen wall. She smiles, though her smile never reaches her eyes, even though it's just a small smile. I don't know her well, but I can tell when she's not well, and she's definitely not.

-Let's go.

I close my black jacket and follow her out, Yelena has been talking since she got up. Amazingly we've been getting along well lately, though I still don't like her, I'm just supporting her. But she's not as mean as she used to be, I'm avoiding being rude to her.

The drive to the hospital was pretty quiet, Yelena turned on the radio so the silence wasn't so gloomy. I couldn't see her but I felt her eyes on me. When we arrived at the hospital, she parked the car and left quickly, she sighed and did the same. In the distance I saw my parents waiting at the side entrance of the hospital.

-Daughter.

Dad says before hugging me, I grab him around the waist and hide my face in his chest. I'm scared, so scared that my eyes fill with tears. My father kisses my head and pulls me away from him, then hugs my mother and warns us that Dr. Zeke is already waiting for us.

I take a deep breath and look up. This is going to be all right.

//

We enter Dr. Zeke's room, he greets us and asks us to settle in. I sit next to my father and Yelena next to my mother, I look at dad and he smiles confidently as he pats my shoulder. Everything will be fine.

-So, Pieck, how is your routine as a mother and wife going?

He asks kindly, he looks at me and smiles warmly, somehow I feel more relaxed. He's not tense, I hope he has good news.

-I'm not used to it. - I confess and he looks at me carefully. - This is all very strange for me, I can't see myself as a mother. - I remember little Falco and smile at the sight of his face. - But I get along well with children, he's an amazing kid.

-And your wife? - My body stiffens and my eyes widen, my father squeezes my shoulder a little. Dr. Zeke notices my tension and takes a brief look at Yelena. - Okay, you're pretty confused.

I nod and he smiles and nods, picks up a white envelope and opens it. I see his mouth move, but I can't hear anything, my eyes focus on the envelope in his hands.

-So, Dr. Zeke?

He raises his eyebrows, reads and rereads the sheets in his hands over and over again.

-All of his evidence is excellent. - He speaks and my face contorts in confusion. If everything is fine, then why don't I remember anything? - Oh...

-What?

My father questions, Dr. Zeke looks away and then at all of us, then his gaze goes to my father.

-I will explain as best I can so you can understand. - He says to all of us and we nod. - Mr. Finger and Ms. Stein, Pieck's case of amnesia is a rare case, his trauma was not caused by a blow or injury, it was caused by stress. - He looks directly at me. - You have suffered stress shock, your brain shut down and erased half of your life.

Dad lets go of my shoulder and out of the corner of my eye I can see him run his hands over his face. I swallow dryly and underneath I hear my mother ask the doctor something, but I'm too busy trying to assimilate how something like this could have happened to me.

-Am I going to get my memory back?

My voice is high, but hesitant, I'm shaking a little. Terrified, that's how I feel. I'm afraid I won't be able to remember important moments like Falco's birth and when I was pregnant with him. I want to cry, I want to remember, it's not fair all this.

-Look, Pieck, your case is very strange...

-... I won't get my memory back?

I interrupt him and raise my face, looking directly into his eyes. Dr. Zeke releases the air from his lungs.

-You may be able to recover all of your memory, or at least much of it.

He says and I feel a little calmer, but still terrified.

-How can you do that?

My mother asks the doctor.

-There are treatments for this kind of cases, but it is advisable to keep living her routine, seeing pictures, videos or even reading every day can be very helpful to make her have flashes of memory.

Then I remembered those strange dreams, could they be flashes of my memory?

My parents and Dr. Zeke are still talking. I take a slow breath, my mind is a little fuzzy, but I am confident. There are treatments, I can remember things, this is perfect. I form a huge smile, now I was sure everything was going to be okay.

-What is the probability of not remembering anything?

And then this question brought me back to reality and I panic again. Dr. Zeke rests his elbows on the table and puts his chin on his hands.

-They are high.

His answer is almost like a punch in the stomach, I feel a little nauseous. I guess my stomach doesn't work well when I get scared.

-Tall? 

-Yes.

-How high? -How high?

My voice is almost desperate.

-I'm going to be very blunt, Pieck, your chances of remembering anything are 80%.

Everything around me crumbles, what little hope I had was gone. Dr. Zeke looks at me apologetically, I can have no other reaction than to look at him in disbelief.

I can remember everything again, but it's more likely that I won't remember anything. And now?

I'm not going to remember anything. No important dates, or how everything happened in my life.

I'm so desperate thinking about what I won't remember, until a loud sob brought me back to reality. My heart compresses as I look to the side and see Yelena almost bent over the table, her body shakes violently as her loud sobs can be heard, she cries so hard and in pain that I feel it tears me to see her cry like that, I didn't think it would hurt so much to see her like that. My mother tries to calm her down and strokes her back, but it doesn't work, she is still there, crying.

I close my eyes, I won't see her like that. Her compulsive crying still bothers me, I want to get up and put her on my lap just like she did with me when I cried a few days ago. But I can't, my body just won't react.

She loves me, she loves me so much to the point of suffering hell because I will never remember loving her. I mean so much to her, and even without understanding, I am suffering, because I can see every day how much she suffers for me.

So after ten days, I wish with all my might to be able to remember everything.

I wish to remember, to remember everything about us.

\-----

N/T: See you tomorrow, sorry if there are mistakes.


	9. She will let me go.

As I left the hospital I approached my father's side in silence, still trying to digest and understand everything Dr. Zeke told me. It is not easy to know that you will never be able to remember half of your life. Yelena and my mother are in front, they are talking quietly, that is, my mother is talking and Yelena is just listening.

It is very interesting to see them like that, they seem to be intimate as if they have been good friends for years. I wonder at what point Yelena accomplished the feat of winning my mother over like that, I can remember how protective she was when girls approached me for a relationship. And now Mrs. Finger seems to love Yelena in a genuine way.

As if they were mother and daughter.

-Pieckie. - Dad called me before we parted. I look at him waiting to continue. - At least today, try to be nicer to your wife.

I feel a grimace form at the way he referred to her, but I'm too stunned by today's news to have any objection. I smile at my father and give him a hug.

-I promise I'll try my best.

I say into his ear and hear him sigh, stroking the base of his back. He pulls me closer to him and deposits a kiss on the top of my head.

-You're going to be fine, princess.

He tries to sound confident, though his facial expression shows how afraid he is. I smile wryly and affirm.

I really hope everything is going to be okay, daddy.... I hope so.

//

Yelena passed silently all the way, now we are in front of the house we share and I am waiting for her to say something or at least open the doors immediately. She takes a deep breath, hands gripping the steering wheel. I purse my lips, hands fidgeting, not sure what to say, much less if I should say something or just remain silent.

-Are you hungry? - Her question took me by surprise, Yelena looks at me and smiles, her eyes sad and dull, she's forcing a smile. I can already identify a few things. -I can go get something if you want.

She suggests and then I stop to think, I'm not that hungry, but I think she just needs an excuse to take a walk and clear her head. I know we have food at home.

-Yes

-Pizza and cupcakes.

He doesn't ask, it sounded more like a statement. I'm dumbfounded because she knew what I was going to order. Well, she's your wife, Pieck, she obviously knows. I wanted to know a little more too, to know her needs and tastes.

Without saying a word, I loosen the belt and open the door, I look at Yelena and sketch a smile before getting out of the car and closing the door. I watch as she shakes her hand inside and then the car starts up again. I watch her disappear around the corner and let out a long sigh.

Here we go, to live my life.

Or try to. 

30 minutes later and she's still not back, not that I'm monitoring her time on the street, but I confess I'm worried. Yelena has never been a very unstable person, she never learned to deal with her emotions and this is something that doesn't seem to have changed over the years. I am afraid that she will do something wrong or something will happen to her. I pace back and forth in the room, see my phone on the coffee table and go to pick it up. I turn on the screen and then I see a message, a message from her.

"Piku I'm sorry, I can't come back now, Niccolo called me and asked me to see him, but I'll bring you your pizza and cupcakes later."

I feel upset about that, and angry, angry that I'm here waiting for her and worried while she's out with her brother. At least she could have called. Stay calm, Pieck.

What do I do now?

I sit on the couch with the phone in my hand, I have no idea what I'm going to do now with Yelena here at least I had company. I look at the turned off TV screen, sigh and turn the device over in my hands. I decide to unlock it, I have nothing to do right now.

I already feel more familiar with the high technology of this mobile, they used to be less complicated, but it has so many useful things nowadays. And they look bigger too, and thinner, but it's good. I like it at least.

What will I look at? The gallery Yes!

I click on the photo gallery and see different folders. I click on the first one, it's pictures of me.

I look hot.

Wow, here too.

Oh, shit! Oh, shit! How wonderful you are, Pieck Finger.

-The years have made me like this.

I commented without realizing it, I kept looking at my pictures and if possible I managed to love myself a little more. It was as if I couldn't control myself, my self-esteem was at its peak, as well as my self-centeredness.

It must have been something I acquired over time, because I married such a woman. Previously if Yelena had anything to spare it was ego. It was annoying.

I open the second folder and melt when I see that these are pictures of Falco.

He was dressed as a bunny, beautiful.

Dressed as a biker, next to him Niccolo dressed the same way and Yelena also all in leather.

I ended up laughing at that picture.

In another Falco is with his eyes closed, his tongue between his teeth and Yelena and I are kissing his cheeks.

I smile at that, he's so much like me.

In the next one Falco is lying on top of Yelena, the two of them are from one of the living room couches and seem to be sleeping soundly, their hands are intertwined.

I kept looking at the pictures that were there and I felt more and more in love with Falco.

I saw a folder of me with the girls, even with people I don't even know. And last but not least, an isolated folder caught my attention. Unlike the other one, this one had the name "My Luck", the same contact name Yelena has in my phone.

To see or not to see?

I'm torn, I'm not sure if I want to see these photos. I feel anxious and curious, I feel like just opening the folder and looking at all the photos.

But I lack courage.

Come on Pieck You know you won't be calm until you see these photos.

I take a deep breath, 5 seconds of courage, click on the folder and then on the first photo.

There is nothing special, I am just sitting next to Yelena on what looks like the beach and we are smiling.

The next picture I am with my arms wrapped around her neck, my face hidden in her neck and she is smiling at the camera.

In the third Yelena is alone, lying on the bed and concentrating on her book.

  
Mental note: Yelena is attractive with reading glasses.

But what!!!

I catch myself with those kinds of thoughts, I certainly shouldn't be thinking these things.

Then come the pictures I was so afraid to see. Now Yelena and I are kissing, she is on top of me and it looks like we are only in our underwear.

Who took this picture!? That's all I can think.

And the next pictures are pretty much the same: the two of us kissing, one where we were in the shower together.

I am still blushing because of this photo. I want to stop looking at them, but my curiosity is greater. I'm so focused on the cell phone screen that I suddenly panic and drop the device on the floor.

No way.

No way.

No no no.

I repeat mentally picking up the phone again, still in disbelief I turn on the screen and a scream gets stuck in my throat as I see a naked and smiling Yelena on the screen, she is lying on a bed, with voluminous hair,legs spread apart, she smiles with a finger in her mouth and looks at the camera in a way that....

-Shit!

I exclaim and close the cell phone gallery, lock the screen and leave the device on the couch next to me. Christ! This woman loves to be naked, she has no shame at all. Am I some kind of pervert? Why do I have so much naked Yelena stuff lying around? Wasn't the videos enough, now too.... Oh God!

She'll have pictures of me like that too?

I mean... I don't think so.

What kind of person did I become?

//

Four o'clock in the afternoon, and Yelena's not back, at least I want Falco to be here, but he's at school. Education is stealing my son. I smile at the thought, I'm not afraid to think that he's my son, because I feel it, that he was born from me, I feel connected to him in a way I can't explain in words.

I ate cookies, managed to turn on the TV and luckily it was on the cartoon channel. After a while I got tired of watching cartoons, especially because SpongeBob is over. I want to cry. It's a joke.

Let me think... The pool is out of the question, with the cold out there I can get pneumonia. Eating too because I'm sick of cookies, I hope I'm hungry when Yelena brings my pizza and cupcakes. Just thinking about it makes my mouth water.

I sigh loudly, turn off the TV and look around, what do I do? I feel so lonely in this big house. I've thought about calling Annie, but she should be at work, I thought about calling Sasha, but my best friend is taking care of Kaya who was burning up with fever. what the fuck! I wanted to go to the cultural center, but I don't even know how to get there.

"But it's advisable to keep living her routine, watching photos, videos or even reading everyday can be very helpful to make her have flashes of memory. "That's it! I can watch the videos...

I mean... Don't Yelena and I just have lewd videos? I don't want to see her naked again, I've had my share today.

I go upstairs, enter my room and go straight to the closet. I grab a stool and put it near the platform where the box is, I pick it up and carefully deposit it on the floor, kneeling in front of the box I open it and.... Hey... They weren't like this last time.

  
Before the CDs were disorganized, now they are stacked correctly. Now I notice they have colored labels, yellow, blue, white and red. I'm going to pick the blue one.

I randomly pick up one of the many CDs in the stack of blue labels, take it out of the box and close it, get up and walk back into the room. I turn on the DVD and insert the CD into it, return to the bed and sit on the edge, turn on the TV and wait for the video to start.

Everything is dark and suddenly the screen goes blank, then Yelena appears. She seems to be adjusting something on the camera, suddenly she starts making a face and smiles. I don't realize I'm smiling, but I am.

-Now I am. - Yelena speaks looking into the camera lens and then looks back, she seems to see something. She shifts where she is sitting and only then do I get a glimpse of where she is, she is in the living room in the chair. - I need to say something... - Her expression is one of false sadness. - My wife doesn't want to know anything more about me, she is changing me. - I'm curious, Yelena turns the camera to the side and over her shoulder is me, sitting on the couch and concentrating on something. - She doesn't want to know anything more about me, she changed me for a game.

The camera focuses back on Yelena's face and she pouts, Linda! She looks back and shakes her head.

-Pieck used to complain about me, but now she's worse than me. If I let her I'd spend all day in that game. - She sighs, as if exhausted. - I'm going to try to communicate with her again.

She says and gets up from the chair, goes to where I'm sitting playing the video game and sits down, I didn't seem to notice her presence, I was still focused on the TV. Yelena purses her lips and whispers "Don't notice me" for the camera, she makes a sad face and I end up laughing when she starts making a bunch of faces at me, which I didn't even notice. Yelena bends down and straightens the camera, on what I think is the coffee table in the living room. She fiddles with something and comes back to sit next to me, I'm still focused on the game.

-Love? - She glues her body to mine and kisses my cheek, I look at her out of the corner of my eye, but I don't stop playing.

-Piku...

-What is it, Yelena?

I look irritated with her interruption, Yelena looks at the camera and shows a sad face. She rests her head on my shoulder and stares at my face.

-I want honey.

She caresses my thigh and then throws her left leg over mine, I look at her and then her leg in her lap. Once again I look at the TV, snort and push her leg off me and shake my shoulder to get her to remove her head. Yelena pulls away and puts a hand to her chest, feigning basic drama.

-You almost made me lose the race.

I grumble still angry and Yelena snorts, she looks at the camera and wiggles her eyebrows as if to say "See how she treats me?"

Yelena is now sitting properly on the couch with her hands on her knees and looking at me out of the corner of her eye, she rolls her eyes a couple of times because she was so focused on the game. Then she smiles mischievously at the camera making it clear she will do something, I am dressed in a huge shirt open from the sides. Yelena looks at the camera again and winks before looking back at me. She senses how focused I seem to be and carefully pushes aside the shirt, leaving a huge gap, Yelena smiles and within seconds sticks her head inside the shirt I'm wearing. I panic and jump, looking down with wide eyes and hearing Yelena laugh.

  
-Yelena! - My voice is almost a growl, warning her that I'm angry. - What the fuck do you think you're doing? 

-I want attention, affection, you've left me for a game.

He says softly, his voice muffled. I roll my eyes and press a button on the wireless controller's joystick. That joystick is awesome, I think for a second and return my attention to the video.

-I want to slap you, you didn't lose anything by waiting for the race to end, it was the last one.

I growl still angry, Yelena lets out a low chuckle, I know because I see her body shaking slightly. I let out a grunt and punch her in the ribs, she cringes and gives a cry of pain.

-Violent.

-You haven't seen my violent side. - I sounded so threatening that even I get scared, Yelena quickly sticks her head out from inside my shirt and looks at me with wide eyes. - Run! 

I shout and her eyes look like they are going to pop out of her face, I clench my jaw and within seconds Yelena jumps off the couch and runs away, I let out a giggle and run after her too. There is no way of knowing what we are doing for sure, but our voices and hurried footsteps can be heard in the house, Yelena begs me not to hit her and I threaten her.

-Pieck! No!

She screams as if terrified, but the smile in her voice is noticeable, I just laugh at the two of us. Then the screen goes all dark and "We are experiencing technical difficulties at the moment, until the next video" appears and the video ends. I laugh, we were like two little girls. And we looked happy.

I miss those moments, moments I don't even remember living.

What is Yelena doing with me?

//

I'm finishing getting dressed when I hear some shouting downstairs, "mom" I smile automatically, my little one is already home. I put on my blouse and step out of the closet, barely out of the room and I feel a small body bumping against my legs.

-Hey, big boy.

I ruffle his hair and he smiles at me clinging to my legs, hugging me. So cute.

-I missed you so much, Mom. - He pouts and I just melt, reaching down and taking him in my arms. -So much.

He grabs my neck and hugs me with extreme strength, my eyes fill with tears and I hug him, too tight. This innocent hug is wonderful, I feel so protected.

-How much?

-Very much!

He shouts excitedly, I end up laughing at his animation and fill his face with kisses.

-I missed you too, very, very, very, very much. - He takes my face and kisses my cheek again and again. - Now little boy, take off your uniform, take a shower and then come downstairs and I'll make you something to eat.

I put it on the floor and Falco runs off, but first he looks at me with the backpack in his hands.

-Brownies and hot chocolate?

He questions with a twinkle in his eye, how can I say no to that cute little thing?

-Of course.

He celebrates and leaves the room, I stood there with my arms crossed and a big smile on his face.

I was just finishing preparing the snack when Falco appeared in the kitchen with a bit of cunning he sat on a chair and leaned his elbows on the table, he looks at me smiling. I smile back.

  
-Falco, didn't you come with your mother?

I ask intrigued, I haven't seen her since I got home, and even when she comes home and goes straight to the office, I see her go out to eat at some point.

-No. - I raise my head to look at him, curious and intrigued. - I actually ran into Gaby's mom, mom called teacher Rose who couldn't come get me, so Gaby's mom brought me.

She explains and my expression drops, I look down and take a deep breath. Gaby, always that little girl. It's ridiculous that I feel jealous of my son, but I can't help it, he's stronger than me. I finish getting things ready and bring them to the table, sit down with Falco and start drinking our coffee while he told me what he had done at school.

It's so nice to spend moments with him.

//

Nine thirty, Falco tried to stay awake to wait for Yelena, but he fell asleep on my lap. She hasn't come home, but I feel less worried knowing Niccolo is with her. Amazingly I am worried about her. Maybe that's a good thing.

Falco was in my bed and under the covers, I want to sleep with him today. I close the door and walk towards the stairs, I'm about to go downstairs when I hear the sound of the key in the door and some voices, I freeze in my place and discreetly see if Yelena is coming, and it's her and Ian to be exact.

-Falco should be sleeping, the house is quiet when he's sleeping.

Niccolo comments playfully as we enter the house, Yelena laughs too and agreed.

-Probably Pieck put him to sleep.

He shrugs and takes off the coat he's wearing, Niccolo does the same with it and the two of them pass into the living room, under a few more steps so he can hear about what they're going to talk about.

-Speaking ce Pieck, tell me how things are going.

I'm almost lying on the stairs in order to be able to see them, and I'm getting there. Yelena is silent and lowers her head, strokes her neck and looks at her brother, he smiles and pats her shoulder.

-It's difficult, very difficult.

She admits and Niccolo looks at her with some sadness, I feel bad for the tone of voice she uses, it makes me uncomfortable.

-How was today's date? - He asks and straightens up better on the couch, Yelena takes a breath before she starts telling everything that happened in the previous consultation. I feel myself breaking down every time she opens her mouth, I don't see her face, but Niccolo's expression when Yelena speaks, gives me the certainty that she is about to cry. I don't want to be the cause of her pain. - Oh, my little one. - He says and pulls her into his arms and only then is the first sob heard, followed by others and Yelena collapses into her brother's arms. Niccolo stroking her hair and whispering to her. - Let it all out.

I feel like I want to run, run into the room and not come out until I have stopped crying, Yelena looks so fragile crying because she exudes confidence, everyone thinks she is unbreakable. But the reality is that Yelena may be more fragile than I am, she just wears some kind of mask.

I've never liked to see people cry, even though I don't really get along with Yelena, it really hurts to see her like this. Her suffering depresses me, seeing her sad tears me apart.

-I-I swear I try, you know? - She pulls away from him a little, she's panting and sobbing still. Ian runs his hands over her face to wipe away her tears, still holding her in his arms. - But it's so hard, more it's hard, e-she sometimes looks at me the way she used to look at me in the old days. With contempt, I... - She takes a deep breath. - It's horrible to see her look at me like I'm a stranger when I was so used to seeing her looking at me with love, even with everything we were going through.

  
Everything we were going through? So it's true, that something was wrong. And from what Dr. Zeke said, my memory loss was caused by stress, could it be that we were fighting so often?

-I imagine it's bullshit.

-It sucks, too much.

She sits back down and rubs her hands over her face, runs her hands through her hair and lowers her head. Ian messes up her hair, disarranging it a little, sits down in the same way as Yelena and they are silent for a while.

-Have they talked?

-Not yet.

Yelena is calmer now, but her voice is still sad and crestfallen.

-They have to, you know.

-I know.

-What do you intend to do?

Yelena looks up and looks at the ceiling, she seems to be thinking about what to say.

-I'll be by her side in spite of everything, even if at the end of the night I feel like shit for not even having a smile from the woman I love with my life. - Damn it! That hurts. - I support her and I will be patient, if she allows me to I will accompany her in all her therapy sessions. I will do everything in my power to help her regain her memory.

-Well, you know there's a good chance she won't remember anything, right?

Yelena nods and I lower my head again, fucking Niccolo, it wasn't necessary to remember now.

-I know and I'm afraid.

-That I won't remember you?

-That he won't remember that one day he loved me.

Yelena is direct and her sentence hits me, making my body tremble. I feel her pain at the possibility that he won't remember.

-But if that happens, you know you can try to get her back. - He speaks suddenly and she looks at him. - Sis, you've done it before, you can try again.

-It's not as easy as it sounds.

-I know, but...

He doesn't know what to say, puts his hands to his face and lets out a long heavy sigh.

-Today when we were coming back from the hospital I was thinking about it, you know? The possibilities of remembering and not doing it. - He pauses and takes a breath. - I was walking around, remembering things from our time together, our marriage, Fal's birth. Of how we were happy. Then I thought about our reality too, she didn't even remember our son. - Her voice is shaky, I know she is about to cry again. - And she loves him so much you know? My biggest worry was that she would reject him, but she didn't, and I'm happy about that. But I don't see my Piku anymore, I don't recognize her anymore, Pieck lost all the sparkle that fascinated me. She doesn't look happy.

-I know that tone. - Ian seems serious now. - Are you going to let him leave if that's his decision?

Everything seems to disappear around us, I can just look at her, waiting for her answer. Yelena looks up and before answering takes a deep breath.

-Yes that's for the best, I'll let her go. - Even from a distance I see her lips trembling, she wipes the corner of her eye. - Since we've been together, I've been giving my all to make her always happy, and this unfortunately isn't working anymore. So if I have to give up my happiness for her, then I will. - I see the light in the room reflected on her face which is bathed in tears. - My priority is her, may she be happy, and may she always be that way..... Nothing matters about me, no more.

Niccolo hugs her again and Yelena cries even harder than before. My eyes glaze over, she cries so violently that her body trembles as if she is having a convulsion.

How can anyone give of themselves for someone else's happiness? She loves me so much to the point of maybe spending the rest of her life unhappy as long as I am happy, I am her priority, Yelena always puts me first.

I see Ian trying to calm her down and only then I realize that he is crying too, Yelena has always been his little sister, Niccolo always protected her from everything. Seeing her like this must be killing him, because he can't do anything.

Then I realize something that surprises me, my cheeks were wet and my eyes were burning. I'm crying for her too, because of her.....

Crying because of her suffering.

\-----


	10. Anniversary

Pieck POV

-Ah...

I let out a moan of pain as I tried to open my eyes, my head is pounding, my eyes still burn and my nose still feels blocked. Yesterday after returning to the room, still crying, I stayed with Falco and cuddled him him crying me to sleep.

My head not only feels like it's going to explode it's also a big mess, I can't find a solution for all this, I have no idea what to do, which direction to go. Nor how to go on.

This whole situation is horrible, if only I could wake up and remember everything. It would be less exhausting and painful.

Even with my eyes still closed, I reach past my bedside and feel Falco next to me, I slowly open my eyes and turn my head. My little guy is there, all stretched out on the bed. I smile at that image, it's the best view I can have in the morning. I lean back on my elbows and thunder my neck twice. Yawning I sit up in bed and then climb out of my bed, but turn around to kiss my son.

My son. That sounds so good, even just in my head. I am proud to know that he is my son, Falco is a great kid, and super smart he is very obedient and loving. The son I always wanted, even as a teenager.

I go to the bathroom to wash my face, neck, wet the back of my neck and sigh. I don't know what time it is but it must be early, it's too quiet.

-Uh...

As soon as I leave the room, I hit my head on someone's head, stagger back a bit and look to see who hit me. Niccolo. His wrinkled face makes it clear that he just woke up, I had no idea he had slept here.

-Sorry, I didn't see you.

He apologizes awkwardly and fixes his tousled hair, I smile to reassure him and he sighs. Niccolo looks at me, I know he wants to say something, I just hope he doesn't lecture me.

-Good morning.

-Good morning.

He averts his gaze and we continue in silence, this is already making me uncomfortable.

-It's... - I clear my throat twice and he looks at me curiously. - Then .... Do you want to tell me something? I'm starting to feel ashamed of how much you look at me.

He confesses and purses his lips, awkwardly lowers his head and I control myself not to laugh.

-Oh... I'm sorry. - He says shyly and I just shake my head. -I'm leaving now eh... Let Lo know when he wakes up.

-All right.

-Goodbye, Pieck. - He says goodbye as he is about to descend the stairs, but says something to himself and grunts. - Damn it!

-Is something wrong?

-No, no! He takes a deep breath and messes up his hair, I think it's almost a tic. - I mean, yes... - He comes back to me and looks at Falco's door, Yelena must be there. - I promised I wasn't going to get involved, but you have no idea how much it hurts me to see my sister the way I saw her all night yesterday.

I heard her say and now I feel worse. I knew I was being hard on her, but not that hard.

-I know it's all confusing for you, I know you don't like her. - He sighs and looks at the floor in embarrassment. - But Pieck, it's not her request, it's mine, at least try to get to know her. You have no idea how wonderful my sister is, I'm not giving you an order, on the contrary, at least give her a chance to get to know her the right way.

  
-Niccolo, I...

-There's no need to say anything, just think about it, okay? - I shrug my shoulders and nod, he comes to me and kisses me on the forehead. - Yelena is one of the best people I know, let me see it.

And after saying that, he turns around and smiles before turning and walking down the stairs, I lean against the door and close my eyes.

Allowing myself to meet Yelena means letting her into my life again, more for that I need to know how our relationship was before, how we got involved, and more, how it was that I let her into my life.

//

I'm finishing preparing breakfast when I hear footsteps upstairs, I hear Yelena's voice and then footsteps approaching. I serve the strawberry and banana pancakes, the chocolate sauce that luckily was in the fridge.

-Good morning, Mom.

Falco comes towards me and hugs my legs, I smile at him and bend down to carry him. He kisses my face and stuffed his face with kisses, making him laugh.

-Good morning, my Fal.

-Yours and mommy's.

He screams and raises his little arms, I end up laughing at his expression and encouragement. Unlike me, Falco and Yelena are morning people, today by a divine miracle I didn't wake up in a bad mood.

-Yes, mine and your mother's.

I place him on the floor and give him a kiss on the forehead, get up and almost have a heart attack when I find a sleepy Yelena standing in the kitchen, watching me and Falco.

-Good morning.

She says in a low tone, her voice sounds funny and the dark circles under her eyes are back on her face.

-Good morning. - I smile at her, Yelena's back, but her smile doesn't make her eyes sparkle. - I make breakfast, I hope I did it right.

-Panque... - Her voice fails in the middle of the word. He clears his throat and holds up his hand telling me to wait. Last night was very hard, she is still in pain. - Banana pancakes?

Her voice is high now, I can't help an uncomfortable expression. Phew. I confess it makes me uncomfortable to see her like this.

-Yes. -For the first time this morning her eyes light up and she turns to the table, I smile internally. Point for me. - Do you want chocolate or strawberry syrup?

-Chocolate! - Falco shouts with his mouth full, Yelena and I look at him at the same time, scolding him. Fal shrugs and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. - I'm sorry, moms.

He says embarrassed, I feel like I was melting when he pouted. So much like me.

//

Breakfast was quiet, we talked the whole time, I mean, Falco talked incessantly and Yelena and I just listened. I felt so good, Yelena too because even her face seemed lighter, less tired and sad.

Yelena told me that she would take Falco to school, I decided to accompany her and asked her to take me to the cultural center. Yelena seemed surprised, I would say she even perked up at my request and was happy. It felt great to make her smile, after yesterday I could only think of ways and more ways to please her somehow.

And it worked, all day long. She spent the day with me in the culture center, danced with the kids and then Yelena took me to see the second floor, where she said I teach my dance classes. It is quite spacious, divided into two parts. The other part Yelena said she would show it to me when she was ready, I didn't question let alone insist.

  
To sum up this Wednesday was undoubtedly the best day of the week from the day I woke up with no memory.

//

In the days that followed, Yelena took me every day to the cultural center, it was fun to spend the day there, I confess that her company helped. Yelena with children was a beautiful thing to watch, she really liked children, that's why Falco and her get along so well.

Today is Sunday, the day dawned strange, you know when you wake up with the feeling that you had something to do, but you haven't the slightest idea what it is? I've been feeling like this since morning. Yelena is strange again, she was crying again last night. I know because when I went to call her for dinner, before I knocked on her office door, I heard her sobs. I still don't understand why.

We were fine, weren't we? I mean, I think so. We didn't exchange insults, let alone fight these past four days that have passed.

Maybe she wants more, maybe she misses him. But is that it? According to everyone and all the pictures in the house and the videos in the box, Yelena and I used to be inseparable. What I am most intrigued and curious about is what crisis we were going through before she lost her memory, she told Niccolo that we were not in a good time.

I wonder why, we seemed unbreakable. Maybe it was just a disguise... or not. I don't think I would be able to fake feelings, much less Yelena. Although the videos I watched were old, my hair is shorter in most of them and Yelena's was a bit shorter.

-Piku?

I look back and see Yelena enter the room, I'm sitting on the bed, trying to read a book, but curiosity and concern for Yelena overcame my concentration.

-Hello.

I close the book and put it in my lap, lean back against the headboard. Yelena approaches hesitantly, a white bundle in her hands with a red ready. I fix my gaze on that bundle, puzzled.

Yelena sits on the edge of the bed, avoids looking at me and squeezes the package in her hands. I wait for her to start talking, curious to know what it is.

-I... - She starts, but says nothing afterwards. She bites her lower lip and lets out a chuckle with no trace of humor. - I had a whole speech, you know? I was thinking for months, days, deciding on the right words, but now all my effort is worthless.

-What the h-

-Shhhh. - She interrupts me, pressing my lips together. - Oh, my gosh! You have no idea how much I had to tell you, but it's okay, I hope someday I can say everything I wanted to. - She sighs deeply and looks at me, my face must be one of tremendous confusion, she smiles awkwardly and moves closer to me. Yelena looks away and focuses on the package in her hands, she looks at me again and gets out of bed. I can't look away from her, Yelena approaches cautiously, I want to ask what's wrong, what she wants, but nothing comes out. She smiles at me and kisses my forehead, I close my eyes and feel something warm wet on my left cheek. She is crying again. - Congratulations.

She says with a broken voice, puts the package on my lap in the book and leaves the room in a matter of seconds. What happened here, how so congratulations if my birthday is not until August? I remember the date of my birthday.

I think about getting up and questioning her, but before I can, I hear the front door slam shut a little loudly, I hear it because I leave my bedroom door open.

  
-I don't like being curious.

I grumble to myself and sigh, sliding a little lower on the bed. The movement makes the package rattle and I remember that, that's it. I go to open it to see what it's all about.

Without even a hint of gentleness I tear the paper, untie the ribbon anyway and finally catch a glimpse that it's a Painting? Better, oh no, it's a photograph.

I turn the picture and see that it is a picture of a tree house, it looks abandoned, as it has just enough bush underneath it. The silver frame of the picture is worn, it looks like an old photo, just like the tree house.

There is an envelope.

I pick it up and open it.

"Pieck, unfortunately you don't remember this place now, but believe me, even with the sinister view it is a very special place. It was here that we have taken some steps in our relationship, I wish, gosh, how I wish you would remember.

It was here that you gave yourself to me for the first time, it was here too that we sealed a serious relationship, and it was here in this house that we actually got married. Maybe you are wondering how, but if you are interested I will be happy to tell you.

When I have finished reading my eyes are wet, on the verge of tears. I close them tight and take a deep breath. What is Yelena causing me? She can do so little to me.

I start to close the envelope to protect it, but when I see a sentence on the back I turn the envelope over.

"I was complete, now I transship" - From her eternal luck.

I read that sentence for the second time, I feel my stomach turn and my vision becomes cloudy. damn it! Again that strange feeling. I try to get up, try to call for help, but before I can react, I feel my body turning to jelly, everything goes dark and then shuts down.

//

I look around and immediately recognize the place where I am, the same tree house I saw in the picture, but the house looks newer and doesn't have a lot of weeds around the tree. I hear a laugh, look back and find myself hand in hand with Yelena running across the yard. 

My smile was so big, I call Yelena and ask her to run faster.

And we look younger, our faces smoother and there are no signs of expression wrinkles. I follow those silly girls with my eyes, Yelena holds my hand and helps me up the stairs. I hurry to follow them.

Arriving at the top of the tree house, I find Yelena on top of me, we kiss. I am blushing, in deference to other times I am not sick, just embarrassed.

-Lena, ah... - Yelena kisses my neck and there is a popping sound, she was sucking my skin. I squeeze my thighs and then try to push her by the shoulders. - Love, no, wait a minute.

-I can't, you're wearing this damn short skirt. - Yelena murmurs against my skin, I end up laughing at the two of us lying there on what looks like a mattress. -I mean, you can keep wearing these skirts, they're sexy and make my life easier.

-Dumbass.

I tap her left shoulder and Yelena laughs, leaning forward to kiss me again. I sit on the floor having a better view of the scene.

I look like I'm in a movie where I'm the main character and acted with Yelena.

-But you like me.

  
-Yes, but what can I do? - I can get out from under her and adjust my clothes in the best way. - I can't control myself.

-I'm irresistible.

I roll my eyes and almost laugh as I watch my other self roll her eyes too.

-All right, now.... Yelena take your hand off my ass. - I tell her and she quickly removes her hand from my ass and sits across from me, sitting Indian shaped. - Sex until after marriage.

-But Piku, it's a week before we get married. - Yelena says and approaches me. - We could move on to the honeymoon, what do you think?

-Don't start with your games. - I look at her angrily, Yelena signals to give up and walks away from me. - Now let me talk and pay attention. - Yelena nods and sits up properly, looking straight into my eyes. - You don't have to look at me with that intensity either.

-Were you nervous?

-Ugh! You know what your eyes do to me.

-I know.

-Presumed.

-Beautiful.

-Stop it. - I demand and she laughs, but says nothing. - To this day I remember when you proposed... My goodness! You were so beautiful, even soaking wet in the rain, because one doesn't usually watch the news, does one? - Yelena smiles and shakes her head, I do the same and caress her face. - But I found you so beautiful when you called me to dance in the rain, it was magical.

So much sweetness for one person, when did I become so romantic?

-... And when I least expected it you pretended to trip. - I pause to laugh at her, she goes along with me. - I laughed so hard it hurt, I mean, your fake hurt face, Yelena!

I reproach as Yelena sits on the floor with her legs stretched out and pulls me into her lap, she ignores my grunt and holds me by the waist.

-Shh, I'll be good, but I want to be this close to you.

-When you pulled out the blue box, you almost killed my heart. I saw you kneeling in the rain, with that smile I love so much. - Yelena gives a huge smile. - That same one. - I lean forward and seal our lips. - I couldn't stop repeating that I accepted.

-And I loved hearing it all the times you said it.

-You gave me the ring that was your grandmother's, the same ring your grandfather gave her when he proposed. You were worried that I wouldn't like it, since most girls prefer diamonds to wedding or pearls, but I accepted this ring, even if it was plastic. - She was silent, looking at me almost without blinking. I looked at my hand, turning the ring on the ring finger of my left hand. - I felt, and still feel special for wearing this ring, which is very important to you, your grandparents and now, it is important to me too.

-You deserve it, and there's no point in saying no, you know that.

-So last week I met at the mall with Sasha and your brother, I was looking for something to give you. - Yelena tries to say something, but I shut her up. - I bought it because I wanted to, just because I wanted to today.

-Piku...

Yelena whispers as she sees me pull out a black painting from inside a chest that was there.

-This ring has no history, however, we are going to create its history and I want this ring to be passed on to our children. - I look at Yelena and notice that her face is already bathing in tears, Yelena seems to be very sentimental. - I want you to marry me, now, here.

-But, Piku....

-Shhh, I know it's crazy. But look, I want you to become my wife with no one around, just the two of us first, then we'll get married in front of others. - I adjust myself better on her lap and take her left hand. - Let's exchange vows now, I want to hear what you have to tell me only there in the church, but for now our love is more important, just tell me if you are willing to live your life with me, put up with me when I am needy, when you scold me for messing up the houses or when I wake you up in the middle of the night to cook for me. Promise me that you will stay by my side through everything and when everything falls apart, you will help me pick up the pieces and build everything up again.

With her right hand Yelena grabs my hair and pulls me into a kiss, I could feel the emotion of that kiss.

-She promises to be with me always.

-Always, my luck. - I take her ring finger and place the ring on it, I see the pearl shining and a smile. I bought a ring similar to her grandmother's, how beautiful. - I love you.

-I love you, I love you, ah.... How I love you. - As he spoke, he filled Yelena's face and mouth with kisses. - She was complete, now transfer, thanks to you.

//

-Pieck's heaven!

A scream brings me back to reality, I sit on the bed with my eyes open, I feel my heart jumping in my chest. Still scared I look around and see Annie and Sasha, they are both sitting on the bed looking at me funny.

-Dammit, Sasha, what a scare.

I take a few deep breaths and rub the left side of my chest, trying in vain to calm my heartbeat.

-It's not my fault, you were delirious and rolling around in bed.

-Yes, sis. - Annie agrees, giggles. - I thought you were having a bad dream.

Actually, it was a really good dream... I mean, a memory flash.

A fucking flash of memory, memory... One day I'm going to have a bad time with it.

-It wasn't a nightmare it was.... - I stop talking and look at them, eyes expectant and brimming with curiosity. Do you want to know? I have to tell these flashbacks to someone. - I have to tell them something.

-Did you kill someone?

-Did you finally fuck Yelena over? I knew you couldn't hold out for long.

-Sasha! - I scolded her feeling my face burning.

-What? It's the truth, isn't it, Annie?

-I agree, we should bet. I knew they'd end up eating each other.

I give Annie a look of disbelief, since when does she use this kind of language?

-Can the two of you stop talking about my sex life that I can't remember when I started?

-All right. - Sasha agrees and sits on the bed next to me. - But I know it won't be long, one way or another you'll never be able to resist your attractive wife.

-Very attractive.

-Can the two of them stop this shit?! - Annie and Sasha throw up their hands in surrender, though their faces show amusement. - I really need to tell them something.

-Talk soon, Pieckie! My God, you look worse than when you told us you were pregnant.

-Did it take me long?

-So much so that Falco was almost born and you hadn't told us you were pregnant.

-Oh how exaggerated, Sha!

-That's because you don't remember.

-Argh! All right, can I tell them now? - They both wave their hands frantically and I take a deep breath, moistening my lips continued. - I've had a few flashes of memory, they're pretty crazy really, I'm-

-Did you remember things!

They both scream together, I cover my ears and grimace. jeez! Crazy.

-I can't believe it, Pieck Why didn't you say so before?

-Hey, hey! Calm down, midget. - Ally closes her eyes and frowns. - I don't remember everything, I remember a few moments.

-What?

-Moments with Yelena.

I speak awkwardly and Sasha just smiles mischievously, Annie notices and does the same.

-You remember the sex, don't you? Your kinky side is still very much alive inside you.

-No, Sasha. - I roll my eyes and snort. - I remember our times together, and today I remember a day shortly before our wedding.

When I say the last word Annie and Sasha look at each other, looking tense.

-Pieck... - Sasha sits properly on the bed, it's serious, she even called me by name. - You and Yelena saw each other today?

-Yes.

I answer confused, Sasha sighs and gives Ally a quick glance, she looks worried.

-Y... Did they talk?

-Yeah, I mean, she said some things and gave me.... - I look around for the picture. I pick up the picture lying on the floor and the envelope too. - Here.

I give them the frame and the envelope, they each take one and then exchange them.

-Did he tell you what day it is today?

-No, he just congratulated me, God, I didn't quite understand why, my birthday is at the beginning of August.

-Pieckie... Today is her wedding anniversary.

Oh, shit!

\---------

**Author's Note:**

> Crdt;Horse5h


End file.
